The life of a Shadow
by Piphanss
Summary: Between the branches, placed in a high tree, it watches your every move, hears your every thought and knows your deepest desires. It watches you, and protects you, without you knowing its existence. It makes sure, that no harm comes to those, it loves. Merlin finds something familiar about this person. He couldn't imagine all the things that would happen after their encounter...
1. Chapter 1 - The hooded knight

**A/N**

Hey! Just wanted to say, thank you so much for reading this! This is my **first** fanfiction, so I hope you'll like it! Just got some things I wanted to say before you start reading!

About the story:

It might be a bit weird. This will mainly be about my made up character and Mordred and Merlin. There's not many Merlin/Arthur moments, so sorry if you're looking for that.

I didn't know if this idea was good or bad, but after much consideration I decided to post it anyway and hope you'd like it!

Oh, and by the way, I'm not from any English speaking countries, so sorry if there's any mistakes! I'll do my best! c:

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Merlin, Arthur, Mordred etc. etc.

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**Prologue:**

Between the branches, placed in a high tree, it watches your every move, hears your every thought and knows your deepest desires. It watches you, and protects you, without you knowing its existence. It makes sure, that no harm comes to those, it loves.

**Chapter 1 – The hooded knight**

"Merlin! Get that lazy bottom of yours down here, so we can get going!" Arthur yelled from the courtyard. Merlin hurried as much as he could, with 4 large crossbows in his grasp, muttering an exhausted 'yes sire'. As he manoeuvred down the stairs and finally stood in front of Arthur, he uttered a delighted sigh, as he dropped the crossbows. Unfortunately for both Arthur and Merlin, he dropped them right on Arthur's right foot. Quite taken aback, Arthur's mouth widened as his brain registered the pain.

"Oww! You idiot! Don't you know how to do _anything_ right?" Arthur yelled at Merlin while jumping around on one foot. Merlin choked down his grin as he knew what the young king would do to him, if he found him laughing. Finally realizing that he must look stupid, Arthur planted his foot on the ground again, swallowing the pain that slowly faded away.

"Right. Now that we're here, let's go. Those deer aren't going to wait forever" Arthur swung himself up on his noble steed. Merlin hurried up on his not so noble horse and followed the king and his companions.

The forest was as usual. Birds were singing, leaves fluttered and animals silently enjoying their normal lives. Arthur crept closer and closer to the majestic deer standing just far enough away to not scent them but not far enough to not get hit. He raised his crossbow, pulled the arrow ready to shoot and aimed. He pulled the trigger and the arrow flew closer to the deer. The deer noticed the sound and turned its head in the direction just to get the arrow in the neck. The kings companions cheered as they saw the grand deer fall to the ground. Arthur made a self-assured expression as he heard the cheers. He turned to Merlin, said a short 'and that's how it's done', and turned to his horse to ride back. Some of his companions took the deer and they all walked back to their horses. Merlin walked to grab the crossbow that Arthur had placed on the ground for Merlin to take, and was about to turn around, when he saw something. He narrowed his eyes to catch a glimpse of what he thought he saw, but the forest was as usual.

On their way to the castle, Merlin thought of what he'd seen. He swore, he'd seen a shadow.

That night was held a feast. The king and queen, knights and servants everyone feasted as if there was no tomorrow. No one would know, that this was one of the last happy moments they'd have the next year.

The next morning, Arthur woke by Merlin pulling the curtains, as usual. Breakfast was ready, he was all dressed, and all was as it used to. Until two knocks on the door told him otherwise. As he'd said 'come in' sir Leon walked in with a serious look on his rather handsome face.

"Sire, I bring terrible news" he said, his voice matching his face.

"What could be so terrible that I can't eat my breakfast?" Arthur said jokingly. Sir Leon looked at the queen and at Merlin before looking back at Arthur, indicating that this was indeed not a joke.

"A small village in the woods was found burnt down with no survivors" Sir Leon said. Arthur's expression quickly turned into a just as serious one as the one Leon wore. Merlin's ears perked up, as the eavesdropper he was. Arthur gave Gwen a last look before following Sir Leon with Merlin in his heals. Gwen sighed and went back to eating her breakfast as she thought of the poor villagers. Arthur sent Merlin to ready the horses and Sir Leon to get the usual team – Gwaine, Percival, Mordred and himself.

As they all gathered in the courtyard Arthur rode first followed by his knights – and Merlin. As they came further away from the castle he let Sir Leon lead them to the village. You wouldn't think there'd been a village there. It was all black and several trees had fallen to the ground and were burnt – as everything else was. Arthur's face went from chocked to angry in a split second. He turned to Leon.

"Let's search this way. The branches have been trampled on. It doesn't look like they had horses, so they couldn't have gone far" Arthur's mine remained angry as they rode towards the path the villains had walked. They hadn't gone too far, when Arthur increased speed. The villains were running. They'd seen Arthur and were trying to escape. They soon caught up too them. Arthur jumped of his horse as his team did too. He noticed the torches in their hands and all doubt was cleared. These were the villains. There were only five of them so Arthur and company made the first hit. Unfortunately, the villains had company as well. About 10 other men came from the forest as the knights had just won over the original five. They were too many and too good. Arthur's anger wouldn't rest but he knew that they were too many. Even Merlin couldn't take them out without Arthur noticing him. As their defeat grew closer for each hit Arthur found himself against a tree with a villain going for the mortal blow. Suddenly an arrow came from nowhere and hit the villain right in his heart. Arthur was stunned. But he became more surprised and even more stunned as several villains fell to the ground with an arrow perfectly aimed in their hearts. No one from his team was hurt. He looked around and his eyes landed on Sir Leon who was the only one with a crossbow. He looked at him in admiration and said: "Well done, Leon!" Sir Leon looked choked as well at Arthur.

"But sire… It wasn't me" he said. That made Arthur's stunned face return. He looked around seeing no sign of anyone else. Suddenly he heard Merlin behind him.

"Over there!" Merlin yelled as he pointed at a dark silhouette running away. Arthur started to run after the silhouette, and soon everyone was chasing the slim shadow trying to escape. _But why would he run, if he just saved our lives?_ Arthur wondered. The person running was fast, but not fast enough. The six men caught up to the person that they could now see even clearer. The person wore a dark long cloak that made it seem like it was just a shadow. As they caught up, Arthur and the knights formed a circle to surround their saviour. Merlin came after the others trying to catch his breath. The person stood in the centre of the circle, letting the hood of the cloak fall over their face, so they could not see who was hiding beneath it. At that moment, it felt as if the wood had gone quiet. All you could hear was the wind swaying over the top of the trees.

"Why are you running?" Arthur asked. The cloaked person didn't turn or lift their head as Arthur spoke. Nor did they answer.

"Who are you?" he asked again. Still no reaction. Arthur looked around at his knights and at Merlin with a questioning face. Why wouldn't this stranger answer?

"I see your arrows. They match the ones that saved our lives. I want to thank you, and repay you." Arthur tried again, his patience running out. Finally an answer came.

"I seek no reward, nor no thanks." The person said.

"That is admirable. May I at least see who saved me so that I one day can be of help to you?" Arthur said.

"My lord, I prefer being anonymous" the person said with the same neutrality.

"I am your king and I ask to see your face" Arthur said rather annoyed. The person glanced quickly in Mordred's direction but then looked at the ground again. A sigh came from the person and they turned to face Arthur. Slowly, the person removed the hood from their head. Arthur gasped. He was looking at a girl with blue eyes and brown hair braided to her side. Her eyes were fierce and full of deep and dark secrets he wouldn't dare ask about. Merlin examined her face as well. It looked familiar to him, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. As the curiosity took over the knights they walked to Arthur's side to see the face of their saviour. They looked at her thoroughly all chocked to see that it was a _woman_ who'd saved them. As Mordred walked around as well, he got eye contact with the woman. His eyes widened and he gasped. The woman's eyes remained fierce looking and as they all looked at her, she saw her opportunity to escape. She ran away swiftly, and soon she was out of sight. Before she ran, everyone close to Mordred had heard him whisper a name.

"Aya?"


	2. Chapter 2 - An arrow through the heart

**A/N**

So, I know this might be a bit weird, but I was hoping we could overlook the fact that Mordred's waaay younger than Merlin and Arthur. In this story it's kinda important that he's the same age. I just wanted to inform you guys that before the story gets too serious :-)

So, Merlin and Mordred are the same age (in this story, anyway x))

I really hope you guys like it so far! And I hope you like my character too! (even though you don't know too much about her yet :b)

Anyways, I'm really excited for this story to get more serious, and I hope you guys will like it as well!

Please tell me if I've made any mistakes! I'm here to learn! c:

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin ... :c

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**Chapter 2 - An arrow through the heart**

After the encounter with the woman, everyone rode home, chatting as usual. The only thing that seemed off, noticed Merlin, was that Mordred was awfully quiet. Merlin was one of the few to hear Mordred whisper 'Aya' when he had seen the woman. He kept glancing at the druid, trying to figure out why he had said that. _Was it her name? If so, how does he know her? Who is she? _Merlin's thoughts kept asking questions so that he lost focus on riding his horse. Slowly, and without him noticing, he fell sideways of the saddle of his horse. It was first when he landed in the mud with a thud he came back to his senses. Arthur stopped in front of him.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?" Arthur looked inquiring at the young man all covered in mud before his horse's feet.

"Um, I – I guess I must've been all lost in my thoughts" Merlin said staring into space as if he was losing himself once again. Arthur knocked him on the head getting him back to reality.

"Come on then. Don't fall behind, or I'll leave you" Arthur said and started riding again. Merlin got up on his feet and on his horse. He was now a bit behind Arthur, riding next to Mordred. As Merlin noticed who he was riding next to, the questions came once again. As he fell of his horse for the _second_ time, Arthur gave him _one _look, then snorted and kept riding. _Great job on keeping your mind straight, _thought Merlin. Poor Merlin couldn't know how his mind would wander in the night…

_The trees look awfully tall in the moonlight from the full moon. Nothing else but its light is making the path clear. As he walks down the road of stones he sees nothing but darkness. As he reaches the end he sees a big round wall of stones with a gap in the middle. In there, a shadow stands. A shadow, wearing a big, dark cloak. As the shadow turns around, he is able to make out its face. It's a woman, with blue eyes and dark brown hair braided at her side. Her arms are lifted and she's mumbling some words he can't hear. Her eyes turn golden for a few seconds and then they are normal again. Her arms fall down with her entire body as she collapses on the ground. Something twists his heart as he sees her slim body fall. An opening appears in the circle. Out of it comes a dark, old woman with sharp teeth and long nails. She reaches for the woman and takes her with her into the opening that is slowly closing. He feels himself trying to move forward, trying to save her. The pain in his chest increases as he sees the ugly woman bare the slim one into darkness filled with screams. As the opening closes, the last thing he hears is a woman scream louder than all the others…_

Steeped with sweat, Merlin jolted up in sitting position now completely awake. He raised a hand to his chest to try to slow its furious beating. He panted as he tried to calm himself. _What was that? Why did I dream about her?_ He thought. He shook his head as if trying to shake of the bad dream. Just thinking about her scream would give him the shivers. Merlin stood up from his bed and walked to the window. There was something about that woman. But what?

The next day Merlin had dark rings under his eyes. After the nightmare he hadn't gone back to sleep. Not because he didn't want to sleep – because he did! – But every time he closed his eyes, her scream would pierce through his ears. So he spent the night wondering. As Merlin woke his king and friend up it all seemed the same. Arthur yelled for breakfast and failed to notice Merlin's tired eyes. It was first when he was dressed and ate breakfast that he noticed, that Merlin was even clumsier than he used to be. He walked into doors, dropped things more often and he had to call him three times before he heard him. As Arthur asked for another glass of water, he finally noticed the dark rings under Merlin's eyes. He stared at them for a while, but then Merlin caught him staring and asked why he did.

"Merlin, did you get enough sleep yesterday?" Arthur asked straightforward as he was. Merlin made a sound, trying to make it look like a joke, when he realized Arthur was serious. Slowly he shook his head.

"Is something bothering you?" Arthur asked. This was a rare moment indeed. Merlin was taken aback by the sudden concern of his friend. Though, Arthur had a kind heart he'd rarely shown it towards Merlin. As Arthur continued to stare at Merlin, waiting for an answer, Merlin quickly wondered _what_ to answer. He couldn't tell him he had dreamt about the woman, because what if it wasn't just a dream? Merlin couldn't come up with an excuse so in the end he just shook his head, telling him nothing was wrong. Arthur looked suspicious and saw through the lie, but he decided not to dig any further.

Later that day, when Merlin was carrying two heavy buckets of water for King Arthur's bath, he noticed a silhouette stand by the window. As he walked closer he saw it was Mordred, who gazed upon the forest in the horizon. Merlin sat the two buckets down and walked behind Mordred, trying to see whatever Mordred was searching for.

"What are you looking for?" asked Merlin. As Merlin spoke, Mordred jumped slightly by the sudden voice behind him. He turned around and Merlin noticed the distance in his eyes. He muttered a silent 'nothing' and walked off. _Maybe it's about that girl… Eva, Arya or whatever, _Merlin thought. Then he realized his task and ran, as fast as he could without losing too much water from the buckets, too Arthur.

"And where have you been?" Arthur asked, annoyed with how long his friend had been away, just to get water.

"I'm sorry sire, I was just –" Merlin tried to explain as he poured water into the bath, but Arthur cut him off.

"I didn't even now the tavern opened this early" Arthur said and walked into the bath.

"I was not –"

"Whatever you say, Merlin"

Merlin wondered if he should tell Arthur about his suspicions about Mordred and the woman. Maybe it would be of importance to the castle. Or maybe it was a personal problem that Mordred was dealing with. What Merlin didn't know, and didn't even consider, was that it concerned both.

As the night crept closer and Arthur's mood softened (because he knew he would soon be in bed with is dear Guinevere). Merlin had noticed the odd behaviour of the druid, since he saw him gazing upon the woods. He was oddly quiet and not too talkative, which he wasn't usually either, but Merlin swore he hadn't heard a single word come out of the druids mouth. Mordred was indeed not feeling normal. He couldn't stop thinking of the woman from the woods. She was even more stunningly beautiful than he remembered.

Suddenly a pair of guards busted through the grand doors. The first guard was sweating like a pig – and smelling like one too – the other was weeping and panting as if hell itself had chased him. Arthur raised himself from the chair and walked a step or two closer to the guards. Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine scurried over to help the poor guards catch their breaths so they could help them explain what on world had happened.

"The woods – our patrol – attacked – injures – help!" was the only thing they could make out of the guards' rambling. Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine looked from the guards to their king awaiting an order. Arthur looked for a second at Guinevere looking disappointed. Then he turned his attention to the two guards and knights that stood before him. He then signalled to Mordred, Percival, Leon Gwaine and Merlin, and then he walked out of the room with them behind him.

As the six of them rode towards were the patrol was last seen, Arthur wondered who could have attacked this time. The last time, which was actually yesterday, they had killed all villains. _Hadn't we?_ Thought Arthur. _Maybe we let one escape, that we didn't notice as we chased the woman, and now they have come for revenge for their brothers? _Arthur's mind kept asking all sorts of questions of who it could be, but they all vanished as he saw the blood of his guards flow out of their bodies as they lay on the cold, hard ground. He signalled to his men to stop, so that they were still hiding behind some trees. He could hear fighting – steel against steel – and cries of pain, but he could not see them. He hopped of his horse and followed his ears, with his sword drawn. As he and his men crept closer to the sound, Merlin couldn't help but notice a strange though familiar presence. Mordred, who walked just behind Merlin, felt it as well. He looked around, trying to see who caused the feeling, but with no luck. With a shrug he followed his king, as they attacked the last villains.

Arthur beat the first and best villain he saw. He came out of his hiding place of anger as he saw them defeat his last standing guard, but only now he noticed how many of them there were. They were outnumbered 3 to 1 even if counting Merlin as a soldier (which Arthur didn't see him as). As Arthur kept hitting whoever defied him, but he noticed when Merlin fell to the ground. He was surrounded by three men, so he could not do anything but watch as the villain struck his sword towards Merlin's heart. Just as it was about to kill him, a familiar arrow pierced him with such power that he fell backwards, gone all white as a ghost. Arthur could not believe he had needed saving once again, but he felt thankful. He recovered his strength and defeated the few villains that hadn't gotten an arrow in their chest. He hurried to pull Merlin with him, and followed Mordred who seemed to be chasing the archer.

As they once again caught up with her, they surrounded her as they once did before. _This time,_ Arthur thought, _I'm not letting her get away!_

Arthur was just about to ask her, why she kept running away, as he saw Mordred walk closer to the woman who had saved them – again. She stood still, as he pulled her hood from her head, so that they could see her face. Only the woman, who stood close to Mordred, could see and smell the little teardrop that fell from his eyelid.

"Aya" he whispered. He stood as close as he could get without touching her. His eyes kept searching for hers. He needed to confirm, that it was her. She finally let him have eye contact with her, and if she hadn't taken three large steps backwards, he would have pulled her into his arms. The men that stood in a circle around them, witnessed this and sent each other long questioning looks. Finally, after _a lot _of awkward looks and silence, Gwaine, straight forward as always, asked:

"Mordred, who is this lovely young lady?"

Mordred looked at Gwaine as he spoke. The woman looked at Mordred just as curious as the men around them, to hear what he would say about her.

"She's Aya. We lived with the same druids" He finally answered, looking away from her. Aya snorted.

"So, she's a druid?" Arthur asked with curiosity.

"You could say that" Mordred answered. Arthur looked as if he was thinking hard about something. Aya looked doubtfully at him, expecting him to banish her from Camelot. Arthur might have accepted Mordred as his knight, but he was still cautious about magic and magical creatures. As he finally came onto a conclusion with himself he spoke:

"Aya, how would you like to come back with us to Camelot? I'm sure we will find a place for such a skilled woman like you"

Aya was taken aback by the king's words. Never in her life had she thought she would hear those words directed to her. She looked into the king's eyes, wondering if he was joking, but she found no sign of amusement in her king's eyes.

"Are you sure, that is alright?" she asked, still doubting that this was real.

"Of course!" Arthur said, flashing her that naïve and childish smile of his. She thought about it for but a moment, and then nodded her head. The knights all rushed to great her and all was well. Merlin was curious of this woman, especially since he found out, she's a druid. Arthur smiled as he thought he could use her as an archer. The knights smiled as they just made a new friend but above all that, Mordred's smile was the brightest, happiest and most sincere he'd ever shown to anyone. Ever.


	3. Chapter 3 - The stars

**A/N**

I realize this story might seem a bit outstretched... There will be more action and more theme in this, I promise! I just feel like, I don't want to rush into the story :/

I hope you guys will bear with me!

The next chapter will be more exciting! I just needed to introduce you properly to the characters!

Anyways, hope you guys will enjoy, even though this chapter might be a bit boring. x

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin ...

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**Chapter 3 - The stars**

After the greetings and introductions they were ready to go.

"Merlin, step off your horse" Arthur said. Merlin looked surprised.

"Huh? What? Why?"

"As you see, our new guest doesn't have a horse. You wouldn't let a woman walk, now would you?" Arthur said with a smirk on his face. Merlin was about to get off his horse, when Aya spoke:

"There's no need Merlin" Aya said.

"Don't worry, it's not a problem" Merlin said.

"No really, there's no need. You see, I have a horse" Aya said. Both Arthur and Merlin looked weird at her, not understanding why she said so. As far as they could see, there was no horse, except their own, in the little clearing they were in. Aya noticed their looks and smiled to herself. She then took two of her fingers, put them to her mouth and blew. None of the men heard any sound come out of Aya's attempt to whistle. They chuckled a bit before a neigh was heard not too far away. Suddenly a silver haired young horse busted through the trees. It was beautiful. It reminded Merlin of the unicorn he once saw. The horse immediately ran to its owner and nuzzled her hair. Everyone couldn't help but stare at the strong bond the horse and Aya shared. Then the horse's nostrils started to flap as if it could smell something it did not like. It directly turned to Mordred and started to neigh loud and threatening. Aya calmed the horse down but she did not fail to notice the eyes of the others as they continued to wonder about Aya's and Mordred's past.

When they arrived at Camelot, Gwen was there to greet her husband. Arthur jumped off his horse as Gwen ran to embrace him. Arthur told her about what had happened, leaving out nothing.

Mordred hadn't left Aya out of his sight since she agreed to live in Camelot. A warm feather tickled his heart as he looked at her. Butterflies appeared in his stomach whenever her eyes would draw close to his, though she refused to meet them. The knights jumped off their horses. Gwaine walked to Aya, who had just gotten of hers.

"Let me show you our stable. There's room for your horse there" Gwaine said.

"Thank you, but that won't be necessary" Aya asked and left Gwaine, and others who were listening, with a quizzical expression. Aya simply whispered to her horse and after, it ran out of the front gate. Everyone stared with wide eyes as the most beautiful horse they had ever seen, ran. How could she let such a magnificent horse _run_? Aya turned her back to the gate as if it was the most common thing to do. She noticed the odd stares and, in everyone's confusion, started chuckling. Gwaine finally came out of his trance and asked Aya why she had let it go.

"You see, Silver doesn't like stables very much. He likes to run freely in the nature" Aya simply told.

"But what if you need him? How will you call for him if he's far away?" Gwaine asked, still confused.

"You'll see" Aya said and gave the quizzical knight a wink as to say it would always remain a secret.

Just then Arthur came over oblivious to what had just happened.

"So, Aya. I've talked to an old friend of mine and he is willing to let you stay with him – and at the same time, you can work as his apprentice" Arthur said with a proud smirk. Aya' lips curled into a gorgeous smile.

"Really? Thank you, my lord!"

"There's no need to thank me at all. After all, you saved me and my men – twice" he said and lowered his voice on the word 'twice'.

"Anyways, Gaius is an old friend of mine. He's one of the most loyal persons I – " Arthur said, but was cut off, by one of the few who dared to.

"Wait, she's going to live at Gaius'?" Merlin interrupted. Arthur glared at him for interrupting in front of their new friend.

"That's what I said" Arthur said once more.

"But where is she going to sleep?" Merlin kept asking.

"In the bed, obviously, where else?"

"But, where am I going to sleep then?"

"The floor?" Arthur said as a matter of fact.

"But – "

"Is that a problem, Merlin?" Arthur asked and gave him the death stare. Merlin gulped.

"No, not at all. I'll be happy to give up my warm, nice bed" Merlin said. Aya chuckled slightly at Merlin's comment and how the two men started arguing like 5 year old boys. Though, when they heard her, they immediately stopped. Arthur cleared his throat.

"Well, um. Merlin, I trust that you will show Aya, where she will sleep" Arthur said and nodded a very kingly nod towards him, trying to act as a king should.

"Yes, of course sire" Merlin answered trying to act like a servant. Arthur walked off leaving Merlin with Aya. He then signalled to her to follow him and walked to Gaius' chambers. He let her stand and gawk at all the books – just like he had when he first came – to clear out his room for her. Just as he was about to show her, her room Gaius walked in startling her in the process.

"Oh, Gaius!" Merlin announced. Gaius stood still with herbs in his hands that he didn't seem to care for at the moment as he stared – literally _stared_ – at the woman before him. He thought her familiar and couldn't believe how similar she looked, to someone he knew. Merlin called his name again and thereby got him out of his trance.

"I apologize for my rudeness; it's just that you look like someone I know. Have we met before?" Gaius asked curious to her answer. Aya looked terrified for a split-second – but long enough to make Gaius notice – and then she relaxed.

"No, I don't believe we've met. I'm Aya" she said and smiled innocently. "And I believe you are Gaius?"

"Indeed" Gaius said, still suspicious but he did not show it. Aya smiled and then walked into what would, for now, be her home.

"Merlin?" Gaius called and turned to face the man he had just called.

"Yes, Gaius?"

"Don't you find her… oddly familiar?" Gaius asked sounding as if he knew something Merlin didn't. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows at Gaius' tone.

"Yes, I actually do. Why? Do you think we know her?" Merlin asked.

"I can't be sure"

"Well, she's a druid, so perhaps we've seen her briefly while we were at one of their camps?" Merlin suggested.

"Perhaps" Gaius said, but anyone could sense, that he thought something differently.

Aya gaped at the view she had from her room in Gaius' chambers. Never had she had a room – her _own room_. She had always lived in a tent or a cave either with the druids or on her own. She had never lived in a proper house. You see, she hadn't stayed with the same druids for too long. She travelled a lot, even as a child, forever on the run from her past. As she stared at the night sky, she thought the stars resembled the eyes of her little sister. Oh, how she missed her. She was the only thing she ever had, apart from the little hope in her heart, that someday she would be united with her family.

Her _real_ family.

Another place under the same stars a little girl laid on a bed with bandages around her head, gazing at the twinkling suns above her. She knew her sister was out there, looking at the same stars. She wasn't surprised, that she left her, even in this state. Years ago, when the boy had been so foolish, that her sister burned with rage, she knew that their otherwise great relationship couldn't be the same. That was part of why she left. She couldn't stand being near him, afraid that she would end up forgiving him. The other part – the main part she left – was to find her family. She hadn't said much, but the little girl knew, that her sisters family was in all probability located in the realm of King Arthur. When the girl was even smaller, her sister used to tell her great things about the king. She always spoke of the prophecy, which every druid knew too well, with a bright star shining in both of her eyes. Though the little girl missed her dear sister, she would always find consolation in the story of King Arthur and Emrys, which her sister loved so much.

Though, her sister used to extend the stories. As if she _knew _who they were.


	4. Chapter 4 - Never, is a long time

**A/N**

Hello again! This chapter is a bit short, and I apologize for that!

I just wanted to say, that I won't be able to post a chapter _every_ day, but I'll do my best!

I'm really happy you guys read my story, so thanks a lot for that!

Anyways, did anyone get the tiny reference last chapter? Silver? No? Haha, I love Pokémon too much.

On with the chapter!

Things are _finally_ starting to happen!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin... :c

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**Chapter 4 - Never, is a long time**

Aya woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. She hadn't slept that good for _months_! When she lived in the woods on her own, she was always on her guard. She always slept with an eye open which caused her to not sleep properly. She went out of bed and watched the sun as it lit the horizon. She watched for a while, seeing peasants in the distance making ready for the new day. As the sun rose on the sky the town people woke up. Underclass girls chatted as they walked for the well to get water for the day. Pigs squealed as they were fed by their owner. Aya sighed as she watched the life and joy of every single citizen. When she heard a small thump on the other side of the door, she walked out of her room. Gaius was standing there preparing breakfast.

"Good morning. I trust you slept well?" Gaius asked when he spotted her.

"Good morning. Yes, I don't believe I've ever slept that well" Aya said and gently smiled. He nodded and offered her breakfast. Merlin was awake too. He grabbed a slice of bread and then hurried to serve Arthur his breakfast. He knew how grumpy the king would be, if he was late. When Aya was done eating, Gaius gave her tasks to do, in her place as his assistant. She did the short once first and saved the "collecting herbs" task for last. She didn't use much time on delivering medicine, so she had plenty to walk in the woods to find herbs. She enjoyed walking under the autumn sun and feeling the cool breeze brush her skin. After a while she had collected the necessary herbs so she turned back. She walked through the lower town, but when she got closer to the castle she noticed Arthur and his knights were training.

Arthur was feeling great. He had slept well and Merlin hadn't been late this morning, so he was all refreshed. The knights felt that, as he had lots of energy for his one to one battle. After those, he ordered Merlin to put up the targets for his archers. He told Merlin to put it further away than they were used to – he wanted to challenge his archers to become greater and thereby stronger. Some were quite good. They hit the third from the middle. And some were, well – not so good. They didn't even get _close_ to the target. When it was Leon's turn, he did the best shot. His arrow landed on the first line before the middle, just a few inches from the centre. Arthur praised him highly. Until he felt a slight whiff of air. He turned around and looked at the target. And right there, exactly in the middle on the red spot, there was a dark brown arrow with grey feathers. He turned around once again to find the archer. And there she stood with her reddish brown bow held straight in her left arm. She lowered the bow and curtseyed to her king. Arthur released a short amount of air saying a brief 'huh' in the process. She was indeed the greatest archer he had ever met. And thus an idea began to form in his head. He knew, though, that this was against every meaning of generality. _Ha_. _As if I haven't already gone against every principal my father made, _Arthur thought with a light chuckle.

When Aya had returned with the herbs for Gaius he stared at her without her noticing for a moment. He still couldn't put his finger on, where he had seen her before. When she turned to him to ask if there was anything else she could do, a knock on the door interrupted both of their intentions. Merlin walked in.

"Merlin! What a surprise! Why aren't you with Arthur?" Gaius said, as it was still day time – and Arthur never seemed to give Merlin a break.

"Oh, but I am still working," Merlin assured them. "I was told to fetch Aya" he said and looked at her. She looked pale for a moment and was about to ask him why, when Gaius beat her to it.

"What does Arthur want from Aya?"

"I don't know, I was just told to fetch her. Though I did notice that, he talked to Gwen before calling me. It must be important" Merlin answered. Aya looked even paler, but she hid her face in her usual dark cloak before the two of them noticed. She nodded slightly not showing any emotions as she went for the royal chambers.

Aya took a deep breath as she stood just outside the doors for the royal chambers. Inside she heard the queen's laughter and the king's voice. She stood there, considering if she should disappear, like she always did, or walk in there and face whatever they wanted to talk to her about. She had just decided on the first part when Merlin turned the corner, saw her and waved happily. She smiled at the pleasant fool that wore a more sincere smile than she had ever shared.

"Nervous?" he asked and smiled that foolish smile of his. She was a bit taken aback by his ability of seeing straight through her thick façade. Noticing her stunned face he chuckled slightly. He then opened the doors announcing her entry. Arthur showed no sign of disgust as she entered, which she took as a good sign.

"Come on in" he said in his royal voice – the one he used for formal events. Like execution. Aya stepped in as far as she could within the range of the door, so that she could run if necessary.

"As you know, my wife's opinion means a lot to me" Arthur started. "Without her consent I wouldn't do anything" Aya looked at the queen. She knew what a soft and kind human she was, but she also knew that she would do anything to protect those she loved from trespassers. From her.

"And that's why I was relieved, when she eagerly agreed to let you become one on my team". Aya was astonished. Had she heard wrong? Arthur saw her expression and couldn't help but let out a little laugh.

"How about it, Aya? Do you want to be a knight of Camelot?" She was speechless. Had the king of Camelot just asked her to be a part of his noble knights? _She_ would be a knight? Her? A _woman_? He was indeed the most untraditional king of the Pendragon legacy. Merlin stood with a confident smile. He knew all along what Arthur was going to ask her about. He had a feeling she would react this way. Finally after a few minutes of being paralysed, Aya was able to answer.

"It would be an honour, sire" she said, still quite shocked.

"All right then, see you tomorrow at practice!" Arthur said as a matter of fact. Aya walked out of the door still not believing what had just happened. Despite her lack of belief, she was still indescribable happy.

Just behind the corner a curly haired druid had heard everything. He was stunned as well. He knew how good Aya was with weapons – especially bows and arrows – so he knew, she would fulfil her place as a knight of Camelot. He smiled to himself, knowing how utterly thrilled she must be by getting a chance to protect the people she loved. No matter how much he wanted to hold her and congratulate her, he knew he had to take his distance. After all, what he did all those years ago, she could never forget, and he feared – never forgive.


	5. Chapter 5 - The field with no flowers

**Chapter 5 - The field with no flowers**

Aya stood in front of the window looking at her reflection as she tightened her cloak. The hood was down but as always, she refused to take her cloak off. She had experienced one too many times, when she had to leave immediately with no time to collect her things. From that time on she always carried her arrows, bow and cloak wherever she went. Many times had that been handy. She was deep in thought, when a knock on the door disturbed her. Merlin came in and smiled when he saw her at the window, where he had stood so many times.

"Did you settle in all right?" he asked. She nodded politely and looked around the room that Arthur had given her in her knighthood. Carefully she studied Merlin's face. She couldn't figure out, what he thought of her. She wanted him to like her. To care for her. Though she knew, that couldn't be possible, when she was, the one she was. He noticed her stare and was about to ask her, what was wrong but she spoke before him.

"I have to go. Arthur wants to test my archery skills" she said and wondered over what trials Arthur had prepared for her. Merlin's eyes widened, as if he had forgotten something important.

"Oh no! The trials! I completely forgot!" Merlin exclaimed and then rushed off, not daring to imagine the things Arthur would do to him, because he forgot. She lightly chuckled and walked out of the door as well.

On the training field were several targets spread all over the large area. Some were hidden in bushes, between civilians or the knights. Aya smirked at the king's try of making her insecure. He explained the rules. She was not allowed to move from the circle that Merlin had made on the ground. She nodded showing that she understood. He walked away – far away – and stood right next to another target.

"Oh, and another thing" Merlin translated Arthur's distance yells. "While you're trying to hit all the targets, you will be attacked as well". Aya just managed to utter a small "What?" When an arrow was shot before her feet. After that many others came towards her. She dodged them just before she got hit. The trials had begun.

As time went on the targets where further away than the previous and the arrows came more frequently. Though, Aya hadn't lived on her own for so long and done nothing. Training herself was necessary when being a lone woman in the dark forests. She continued to hit the red spot on the targets while dodging Leon's arrows. Finally there were only three targets left. The first one was between civilians. She easily hit the spot without hurting any of them. The second was between the knights. That too, she hit easily. At the last was the target just next to Arthur. She pulled her bowstring and aimed ready to shoot. Just as she shot, she saw Merlin run towards Arthur. He hadn't noticed that he was the last target. Aya's heart started beating furiously as she saw how the arrow would collide with Merlin. She fiddled with the bow with shaking fingers as she pictured the scene that was happening before her. It shouldn't happen. It couldn't happen! Finally she got enough control over herself to shoot the last arrow. She pulled the arrow vigorously and let it fly towards the other one. Merlin finally noticed what was happening. He looked at the arrow closing in on him. Just a few seconds and he would be dead – because Aya never missed her target. Just as the arrow was about to hit, another arrow dragged it to the ground. Merlin looked confused as to why the arrow hadn't hit. Shocked and beaming with joy he looked forward to see Aya with her just-pulled bowstring.

Aya couldn't believe what had almost happened. She had nearly killed Merlin. _Killed_ him. Audience started clapping and whooping as they had seen what had happened. No one noticed that she was shaking uncontrollably. The terrified expression stayed plastered on her face. She couldn't control her emotions. Not when it was about Merlin. When she realised that Merlin was unharmed, something clicked inside of her. With great relief she fell to her knees. All beaten up from the inside, and barely holding herself up with her arms, she laid on the ground, defenceless as never before.

Merlin's smile dampened when he saw Aya fall to the ground. He cried out her name and ran to catch her head before it hit the ground. He saw her struggling to keep herself uplifted. Her arms weakened and failed to bear her weight. She fell closer to the ground and closed her eyes in defeat. She waited for the impact with the ground, but instead of hard dirt, she fell onto something soft and warm. Weakly, she opened her eyes. Merlin starred worriedly at her. Aya suddenly realised how weak she must've looked. She swiftly stood up and tried to ignore the sudden dizziness she felt. She had seemed weak – she had showed her weakness. The one thing she couldn't do – she had done. She looked alarming around as the thought cleared in her head. The eyes of every citizen, knight, servant and monarch that had joined to see the trial laid on her. She couldn't take it. So she ran. The fear of being exposed gave her energy. She ran through the lower town and further away into the wood. She reached a small field before collapsing. Her body couldn't take anymore. She laid there on a field with no flowers thinking. A normal person would cry of fear, but Aya was different. It was the first time in years she had ever reacted like that. It was only because of Merlin. Whenever it was about his safety, she felt herself _care_ like she rarely did. She had been so frightened that he would be hit that she had lost her self-control – the control she had used years and years to build. As she lay on the soft ground she eventually calmed down, and at last she found the wall she had built around her heart. She found the courage to walk back. But she didn't find the energy. Lost and tired, she fell asleep on the field with no flowers.


	6. Chapter 6 - The reflection

**A/N**

Hello again! And thank you so much for reading, favoriting, following and reviewing! I'm so grateful to all of you! :-)

Really, thank you so much!

I'm sorry if there are mistakes in this chapter - I didn't have time to proof-read it, since it's so late and it's a school night x.x

I hope you like it anyway! :-)

There's going to happen something... hehehehehe

**Dislaimer: **I do not own Merlin...

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**Chapter 6 - The reflection**

Birds chirping, wind whistling and corn swaying was what Aya woke up to. Her head didn't feel as heavy as before and her heart felt the cold wall, she had built around it, rise again. She was the Aya she had to be once again. Slowly she sat up only thinking about getting her mind straight and therefore not noticing the body next to her. Though, that person noticed.

"You're awake!" Merlin practically yelled. The surprise and the sudden sound of his reassuring voice made her jump a few inches. She looked disbelieving at him, thinking he wouldn't have come for her sake.

"You were asleep for so long, I was worried you wouldn't wake!" Merlin exclaimed and proved her wrong. His face went from worried to desperate for a brief moment. Aya was speechless. She wouldn't know how much Merlin had already come to care for her. Especially, after she saved his life thrice. But it was not just that. He felt like he _had_ to care for her. It felt natural. Real. It was a weird feeling, but Merlin wasn't one to distrust his instincts. That's why he had felt himself run after her earlier that day. He found himself drawn back to reality when Aya spoke.

"Are you all right?" she asked, looking at the ground. He smiled knowing that she was worried about him.

"Yes, I'm fine" he answered with a calm smile. Seeing that, Aya calmed down as well.

"It was pretty amazing what you did, really" Merlin said trying to get her head off the accident that nearly happened. She looked at him and raised her eyebrow.

"What was?"

"Stopping your arrow with _another_ arrow. I've never seen anything like it. You must be the greatest archer in Albion" he said and smirked. Aya chuckled.

"It wouldn't have been necessary if I hadn't shot towards you in the first place" she said.

"No, I was the one at fault walking near the target like that. I should know better!"

"You really should" she joked. Merlin laughed. He stood up offering his hand to Aya.

"Let's go back. The others are probably worried" he said.

"About you" she added and then took his hand to stand up. He grabbed her other hand and forced her to look at him.

"And you too!" he said with a serious tone.

"You might not think the same, but everyone already think of you as a new member to the family. We worry about you too! Everyone gasped when they saw you fall. Didn't you notice?" Aya didn't know what to say. She hadn't noticed. To be honest she didn't think she was accepted completely, since she was a woman and all. But she believed in Merlin – believed his words. So, Merlin and Aya made their way back. When they reached the training field, the knights and the king sat on the ground fumbling with the grass, waiting. They heard Merlin and Aya's footsteps and quickly looked up. Arthur was the first to notice.

"Merlin! Aya!" he exclaimed. Aya stopped walking as she heard him. Merlin was midways in meeting Arthur when he noticed Aya stopping. He turned around, smiled reassuring at her and gave her courage to face the king. Arthur saw her hesitate and his face softened. He slowly walked towards her trying not to frighten her. When she came closer to her, he spoke:

"Are you all right?" he looked concerned but gently at her, worried of his new friend.

"Yes, I'm fine thank you" she said, embarrassed of her escape earlier that day. As they heard the young woman's answer, all the knights made a sigh of relief. Aya, noticing this, furrowed her eyebrows. _How can they be so worried about someone, they barely just met?_ She thought. No one could know, not even the knights themselves. All they knew was that they cared for her, as she did for them.

"So, Aya. Kneel in front of me" Arthur said now with a serious expression. Aya did as she was told, though wondering what was going to happen next. It came as a surprise when Arthur drew his sword, rested it for a few seconds on each of her shoulder while chanting:

"And with this, I hereby name you lady Aya – knight of Camelot" Aya sat for a while trying to take in what had just happened.

"But sire, I – I failed the trial" Aya finally stammered.

"Failed? In what way did you fail?" Arthur asked and helped her to her feet.

"I – I almost hit Merlin, and I –" she tried to explain but Arthur cut her off.

"That was Merlin's fault alone. He should know better, and even so, you saved him" Arthur glared at Merlin for a second, when he mentioned the foolishness of his servant and best friend. Aya was taken aback. She hadn't even _considered_ still being in the position of becoming a knight. She was grateful for Arthur's kind heart that let her stay even though she had showed the weakest side of her in front of everyone. She was happy, but she had also learned a lesson that she wouldn't forget.

That night, they feasted. Well, that was until a guard rushed in and disturbed all peace as he spoke of the villains that had attacked – once again. Arthur sighed. _How many are they? _His mind wondered as he thought of the other villain attacks they had already dealt with. _They must be linked somehow… But how?_ Arthur and the usual team – now including Aya – ran out to the courtyard. The knights saddled their horses from the stable, except Aya. All she did was whistle the silent whistle and just a few seconds later, Silver – her loyal horse – ran in and she jumped on his back. It was still a mystery to the knights how she could call her horse like that. But no one asked as they were busy trying to catch the villains.

When they reached a clearing, where the villains were seen last, Arthur told Aya to go further south but keep close, so she could be their stealth archer, attacking from the wood so the villains wouldn't see it coming. As they travelled further into the wood, they finally found the villains. There were ten of them, all carrying both axes and swords in their belts. This would be a tough one. Arthur sent his knights a look saying 'are you ready?' and all nodded. Then, they attacked. Arthur went head first towards the biggest man. He was big as he was strong. The big man was surprised when they attacked, but soon cleared his head and focused on the small king in front of him. He swung his axe so Arthur felt the wind from the strong swing even though he dodged it. His opponent might be big and strong, but he was also slow. Swiftly, Arthur threw himself between the legs of the almost-giant and swung his sword against his legs to cut down the man. The giant man's scream was filled with agony and anger, but it didn't stop the blood from flooding out from his leg. The giant man fell on his knees and Arthur took his shot at finishing the man. He looked around and saw that Leon had captured one of the men, so they could question him about the attacks. They were winning.

Mordred was standing just a few meters away. He too had just slain his opponent. Many of the villains had fallen over with arrows spot on in their heart. There were still a few villains left, a little more than one for each knight. Mordred was about to take one on, when he noticed something. The arrows had stopped. Frantically, he looked around in the trees, bushes basically every spot Aya could've viewed the battle and meanwhile shooting opponents. One bush was trampled all over. Mordred felt his heart's beating increase as he looked for the smallest sign of Aya. As the last villains were caught, Arthur noticed Mordred's pacing. He was panicking by now. He walked over to the bush that had been trampled on and saw something that made his heart stop. It was a little piece of dark-blue cloth. The same colour as Aya's cloak. Arthur walked behind Mordred and looked over his shoulder to see what he was freaking out about. When he saw, his eyes widened and he looked straight forward in a desperate try of seeing her. Merlin and the other knights came over as well except for Leon, who was guarding the caught villains.

"Leon. I want you, Percival and Gwaine to go back to Camelot with those three" Arthur said and pointed at the three gagged villains.

"Mordred and I will go see if we can find her" Arthur said, and with that everyone understood the situation. The three knights looked worried, but they trusted Arthur, so they took the villains – one each – and headed home. Arthur, Mordred and Merlin made their way through the wood, following the trace, neither of them saying a word. They were all determined on finding their friend.

Aya ran. Two of the villains had surprised her, and were now chasing her. _But why would they chase me?_ She thought. _They won't get anything out of me, if that's what they hope!_ She jumped over fallen branches and tried to make the path difficult for her pursuers. It saved her enough time to call her horse. Silver came through the wood running beside her. With one hand on his mane, she jumped on his back. She didn't need to kick him or tell him to run faster – he was smart enough to know, that they were chasing her, and he wouldn't let any more harm come to his best friend. Aya and Silver were quickly out of the villains sights. Aya finally relaxed and laid herself over Silver's neck. Silver, noticing Aya relaxing, turned down his pace. They turned around and went towards Camelot.

Mordred was panting. They had seen the three villains that they suspected had taken Aya. Where she was, was another question. Right now, they just needed to catch them. Behind him, Arthur and Merlin were running as well. The villains were quick, but not quick enough. Driven by anger, Mordred caught up to the villains. He struck one of them in his leg so he fell to the ground. The other two hesitated for a bit and then decided to help their friend. Mordred was furious. _If Aya is hurt in any way, I swear I'll – _Mordred thought, but was pulled out of his thoughts as Merlin and Arthur caught up. They took on the other two, and soon the three villains were tied up. But for no good. Mordred kept pestering about what they had done to Aya, but the three of them kept insisting that they hadn't seen the girl.

"We were merely just trying to escape" they stated. Mordred's temper wasn't one to be tested – especially when it concerned Aya. Just as he was about to strike his sword into the villain that had said those words, a voice stopped him.

"Mordred!"

He froze, his blade just a few inches away from the tip of the villain's nose. Mordred turned around and saw the one person he had longed for in all those years after they met. He let a sigh of relief escape from his mouth as he saw, that she was unharmed. Merlin and Arthur were relieved as well. And with that, they went home with three more villains on drag.

Another place, three persons stood in a circle around a vessel filled halfway with water. In the water, they looked at a reflection of Aya riding next to Merlin.

_"For-wel,_ _þu habban orleahter æt blandan eac þá ceorlfolc" _one whispered  
**"So, you have decided to mingle with the commons"**

"_þu gehagest swicolan blandan eac þá ceorlfolc" _the other stated.  
**"You can never mingle with the commons"**

_"Géa, þu sculan æfre buan in þeostru"_ the third agreed.  
**"Yes, you must forever live in darkness"**

_"þu sculan na ærende"  
_**"You must not care"**

_"Beon bysgu be"  
_**"Be cared for"**

_"þencan from ærende eac an cyre be þu"  
_**"Or think of care as an option for you"**

_"þu sculan na lufu"  
_**"You must not love"**

_"þencan lufian"  
_**"Be loved"**

_"þencan se þu cunnan a buan eac twegen"  
_**"Or think that you could ever live as two"**

_"Æfter þu earon na ceorlfolc"  
_**"Because you are no common"**

_"For-wel þu cunnan na buan wiþ ceorlfolc"  
_**"So you cannot live with humans"**

_"Gena acweþan æt ceorlfolc"_ the three of them chanted as an old ballad.  
**"Or even talk to commons"**

_"Heo æteowian æt habban forgetan"  
_**"She appears to have forgotten"**

_"Wit sculan macian heo beþencan"  
_**"Then we must make her remember"**

_"Géa, wit sculan macian heo gieldan"  
_**"Yes, we must make her pay"**

_"Heo willa gieldan, ge heo willa undergietan heo asettan"  
_**"She will pay, and she will understand her place"**

Then the three of them looked in to the vessel of water with Aya's reflection, and ranted words no one could hear.


	7. Chapter 7 - The woman she is

**Chapter 7 - The Woman She Is**

The villains wouldn't disclose who and how many they were, or why they attacked. They all just sat there staring at Arthur with narrow eyes and lips firmly shut. Even when Gwaine lost his patience and whacked one of them on the head, no reaction came from the other villains. The knights were getting impatient. Arthur concluded that a night in the dungeons might soften them up a bit. So Arthur went to sleep with a calm mind.

The next day went normal, for once this week. Aya trained with the other knights and Arthur didn't get any more reports about villains in the woods. Arthur and Guinevere sat around the table in the royal champers with Merlin pouring wine in their cups, when they turned empty. A knock on the door caught the king's attention.

"Enter" he said. The door opened revealing Aya's head as she peeped in.

"Ah, Aya. Did you get… um… 'that thing'?" Arthur asked, looking suspicious. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows. Why did he not know about this? Aya nodded.

"It is all set" she said, smiling at what Arthur had told her to do. Arthur invited her to dine with them, and she politely sat down next to Guinevere. They all talked and laughed as if they were old friends.

Another place, around the same time, three old women with dark cloaks stood in front of a pond, surrounded by walls of stone. One stood with a long grey staff, the other had a glass bottle filled with thick red liquid. The third stood with a wooden box, not revealing what was inside of it. As if on cue, they all started chanting the old language.

_"Abysgian se flæsc ge blod wir offrian toweard þu"  
_**"Take the flesh and blood we offer to you"**

As they chanted this, the second and third woman dropped the glass bottle and wooden box into the pond. The water began to stir.

_"In andswarian wir bod þu to awreccan"_  
**"In return we command you to awaken"**

_"Abreotan se wealh se don na belimpan in woruld"  
_**"Destroy the foreigner that does not belong in this world"**

The first woman who held the staff lifted her arms up slowly as they said this. Right after the sentence, she pulled the staff in a straight line down in the pond. The water turned red and bubbled disturbingly. The three women closed their eyes and mumbled a few more words in sync. Then they all opened their eyes, which were glowing gold for a few seconds. Right before she pulled the staff out, they heard a piercing female scream.

The first woman who held the staff lifted her arms up slowly as they said this. Right after the sentence, she pulled the staff in a straight line down in the pond. The water turned red and bubbled disturbingly. The three women closed their eyes and mumbled a few more words in sync. Then they all opened their eyes, which were glowing gold for a few seconds. Right before she pulled the staff out, they heard a piercing female scream.

Back in Camelot, the monarchs and Aya were done eating. Merlin smiled to himself when he saw how calmly Aya talked to Arthur. Somehow, it meant a lot to him that they got along with each other. Aya stood up and readied to walk home.

"I will see you at training tomorrow" Arthur said. Aya smiled and said a 'yes' before opening the door to walk out. The second she opened the door, Merlin felt chills go down his spine. Time stood still. The air was cold. Merlin felt himself shiver. A dark silhouette appeared and made the cold unbearable. The creature in front of him had no legs. It flew just a few inches over the ground, its black cloak swaying in the silent wind. The creature slowly looked up revealing two golden eyes. Just before the vision - or whatever it was - ended, it screamed at him.

Merlin dropped the wine causing everyone to look his way. He was shaking from the freezing temperature he had felt a few seconds before. Panting for air he felt on his knees. Something about the creature had taken away his power as well as his breath. Arthur rushed to his best friend, looking concerned at him. Merlin was trying hard, trying to figure out what the vision had meant. While being concerned about Merlin, no one noticed the person struggling to get out of the room.

Aya finally made her way crawling out of the royal champers. She was gasping for air and shivering. She grabbed her head trying to ease her headache. Different from Merlin, she knew why the creature had appeared - or at least she had a theory.

Mordred was wandering around the castle, when he heard cold metal meet stone surface from the royal chambers. He ran to protect his king but stopped, when he noticed a slim figure crawl out of the room. He saw Aya pant and pull her hands to her head. He furrowed his eyebrows worried as he forgot all about the reason he came in the first place. Not having a single thought on their past, he kneeled down in front of her. At first she looked like, she didn't notice him, but he knew better. She had excellent instincts, so he knew, she knew he was there. He pulled his hand up next to her face, but then reality hit him. He withdrew his hand but continued to stare at her worriedly. She finally gave in and looked at him.

"What?" she asked sceptically. He continued to stare at her. She got annoyed.

"What!" she said louder.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a gentle voice. Her eyes softened for a few seconds as she realized, he was worried about her. Then she put on her mask once again.

"It's nothing of your concern" she said bitterly and stood up. Though, she had been to foolish, considering that she had just been drained of power. She wobbled and eventually fell over. Mordred was quick on his feet and caught her before she hit the floor. He held her close to him as this was his only chance of being near her, since she always ignored him. He studied her face, which was only a few inches from his, and tried to remember their relationship before it all went wrong. Before _he_ went wrong. Surprisingly, she didn't look away. Quite the contrary, she looked at him too. She remembered the days of laughter and joy. But she also remembered those with screams and terror. She couldn't forgive him. She _wouldn't_ forgive him. But somehow she could still see the face of her past best friend. _No, it's not true_, she thought. _He's no good, and he will always be that way. He can't change._ She finally broke their eye contact and tried to get out of his grasp. He let her go but kept an arm on her shoulder to help steady her. He knew what she thought of him and he wished - oh, how he _dreamed_ - that he could prove her wrong. He wasn't that messed up kid anymore. He had grown up and learned from his mistakes. But it all seemed to be too late. When this thought hit him, he would become gloomy and almost depressed. The only thing that kept him going was the small hope - no matter how ridiculous it may be - that she would someday be herself around him. Trust him. Feel it was not necessary to wear her mask around him. This was all he wanted. He knew, it was a big thing to ask for, after what he had done - and when she was, the woman she was.


	8. Chapter 8 - A magical creature

**A/N**

This is kinda short, sorry! :(

The story is getting to my favorite point, so I'll try to upload a bit more often!

Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Merlin :bbbb

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**Chapter 8 - A magical creature**

Merlin lay in his bed with several blankets wrapped around him and Gaius fuzzing around. He was slowly recovering. When he was recovered enough to walk, he sat down at the table across from Gaius. He didn't need to ask what had happened, because Merlin began to talk without hesitation.

"I don't know what it was" he started.

"What was?"

"The creature I saw. It wasn't human, that much I know"

"So it wasn't the Cailleach?" Gaius asked, thinking back on the time the Dorocha had slain so many innocent people.

"No" Merlin said. "Though, it was the same cold. The same atmosphere."

"How did the creature look like?"

"It was dark. It had a long black cloak. And it was floating in the air as if it weighed nothing. When it looked at me, I saw its golden eyes. They were filled with anger. Sadness. Regret. And hatred. So much hatred. It looked like it had suffered a lot."

Gaius rose from his seat and made his way towards his many books. He looked for someone - or something - that matched Merlin's description. He searched and looked in every book he had about creatures. Merlin stood up as well, wondering what took Gaius so long. He looked at the pile of books that Gaius had already read and took another book to help searching for the creature. It had to be there somewhere.

The next morning Arthur woke up. _Something's wrong_, he thought. He liked around trying to find the root of his doubt. It was a perfect morning. The sun was shining, Gwen was by his side, and it was quiet. _Quiet_. Arthur shot up into sitting position. _Where is Merlin_? He thought. _Is he not all right from yesterday? _Arthur was about to storm out of the door to look for his friend, when he heard it creak. Merlin walked in slowly trying not to wake the king. He didn't notice that he was already awake. Arthur fell back on the bed, angry that he had worried for nothing. He would deny ever being, but he was relieved nothing had happened to his young servant.

"Rise and shine" Merlin yelled and pulled the curtains to the side. He overheard the scolding king, as he was too busy looking down as much as possible to hide his tired eyes. Gaius and he had stayed up all night trying to look for the creature in Gaius' books. And they had found nothing.

"Merlin, are you listening?" Arthur pulled Merlin out of his trance.

"Hmm?" Merlin said looking at the kings white shirt, since he couldn't make eye contact, or else Arthur would notice.

"I said: 'where's breakfast?'" Merlin suddenly realized, in his hurry he had forgotten to bring the kings breakfast.

"Ah. I'm sorry sire, I will get too it right away!" He said and hurried to the door.

"Wait, Merlin!" Arthur yelled, but Merlin was far down the corridor before the king had finished his sentence. Arthur had noticed Merlin avoiding his eyes so he knew there must be something on the young man's mind. He wanted to help his best friend. He decided to ask him again once he returned.

Merlin ran down the corridors to the kitchen. He frantically looked around searching for the king and queen's breakfast. He found it and nearly dropped it as he hurried back.

When he came back, both king and queen were dressed. Arthur looked to him as he entered without knocking as usual. Gwen heard Merlin enter as well and made up an excuse to let the boys talk. Merlin looked confused at her as he had brought her breakfast, but she said she would have it later. Not wanting to pry any further Merlin shrugged and set the breakfast ready for his king.

"Merlin" Arthur said, gathering the courage to show him concern. Though, Merlin didn't hear. _Whatever it is, that he is worrying about, it must be important since he doesn't notice me_, Arthur thought, feeling a slight pain in his chest as he thought of Merlin not thinking he was trustworthy enough. He cleared his throat to try and get Merlin's attention. Still no reaction.

"Merlin!" Arthur nearly yelled as he pushed him of his annoyance.

"What in – ?" Merlin exclaimed as he fell with the water he was about to set on the table that he dropped on himself. He sat on the floor giving Arthur a quizzical look as to ask '_What was that for?'_. Arthur smirked. _Finally_ he got his attention.

"You've been all away in your thoughts this morning. You didn't even hear me when I called you!" Arthur said.

"Called me? When did you –" Merlin thought over it, and then realized that Arthur was indeed right.

"Oh" he said.

"_Oh_? Is that you're excuse? That you're simply too _dumb_ to notice anything around you? Come on, Merlin, I know you better than that!" Arthur sat down next to Merlin, as to conclude that right now, they talked as friends – as equals – not as king and servant. He looked to him showing concern for his best friend.

"What's bothering you?" he asked kindly. Merlin looked down. He couldn't tell Arthur about his vision. He would know he wasn't normal – not _normal_. He wondered what to answer instead. Though, Arthur wasn't a fool. He could see in Merlin's eyes that he did not want to talk of it. At least, not with him. Arthur felt the pain in his chest increase. Before had just been a silly thought. Now, he had proof, that Merlin did not trust him as much as Arthur trusted him. Arthur stood up.

"Fine, if you're going to say it, I won't force you" he said, trying to cover his wounded heart. Contrary to what Arthur always said, Merlin was not a fool either. He saw the hurt in his best friend's eyes and immediately regretted not telling. Of course he wouldn't tell him _word by word_ what had happened. He could… cover up the truth a bit. Like he always did.

"Gaius and I found some foul information yesterday" Merlin quickly said and hoped Arthur would listen to him. Arthur, hearing his friend open up, immediately turned around, interested in what his friend had on mind.

"What kind of information?" Arthur asked.

"Someone in Camelot saw a creature. A magical creature. Gaius and I are currently trying to find what it was, and what it can do. Hopefully it can be destroyed and won't cause too much trouble" Merlin said truthfully. Arthur's ears perked up as he heard the word "magical".

"Why was I not informed of this immediately?" he said feeling a bit annoyed as this concerned him more than anyone.

"We didn't want to trouble you if this turned out to be false alarm." Merlin said and hoped Arthur would listen to him. Oblivious as always, Arthur nodded.

"I guess that is true, but still you should have told me earlier. When did this happen?"

"Yesterday evening. Gaius and I spent all night, trying to search for the creature in his books."

"And did you find anything?" Arthur asked hopefully. Merlin shook his head.

"Nothing, I'm afraid." Arthur looked disappointed for a second, but then his face turned stern.

"Tell Gaius he must find what this creature is, so we can find it and if necessary slaughter it." Merlin nodded in approval. Something told him, that they did indeed need to destroy this creature.

Outside the door a woman with a long brown braid listened to the king's conversation. Her eyes were wide and frightened.

_It was as I feared,_ Aya thought. _I must do something about this, before Merlin or anyone else is put in danger_. With that thought, she pulled her hood over her head and made her way to the courtyard. There, she called her horse, and they took off. To where, no one could know.


	9. Chapter 9 - Her past

**A/N**

I'm sorry I haven't been uploading! My Internet has been weird these past few days! -_-  
But I'm here now! :-)))  
Again, Thank you so much for reading this story! I really appreciate it! :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin :p

* * *

**Chapter 9 - Her past**

The sun was setting. Darkness crept closer. Dark silhouettes haunted the woods. Aya looked around. She had yet to find what she was searching for. Disappointed she ordered Silver to ride back.

As she neared the lower town Silver slowed its pace. Until she heard a loud piercing sound. A scream. Without giving it signals, Silver went in the screams direction. Aya jumped off quickly when she saw the crumbled up body lying on the cold ground. She was trembling. Aya carefully neared her without making a sound. When she came close enough she gently coughed as to indicate the person was not alone. At first the body jumped by the sound. Then it turned towards Aya. It was a girl. Not much older than 15 years. As the girl recognised Aya's symbol on her chest, that Arthur had given her when she became a knight, she cried out in relief. Aya carefully embraced the young girl to comfort her. When she was finally able to speak, Aya asked what had happened. The one word she had feared, the one word she _hated_, came out of the young girl's mouth.

"Shadows"

**...**

Aya brought the girl to her chambers to make sure she was safe - and she didn't tell anyone what she had seen. Before she let her sleep, she asked her:

"Can you keep it a secret?"

"Keep what a secret?" The girl asked.

"What you saw. What happened today."

"Why?" She asked looking quizzical. Why must she hide the threat that might be in Camelot - her home?

"The case is being handled at the moment. I don't want to cause any panic." Aya said truthfully.

"But what if it attacks again?"

"Don't worry. We'll figure something out. But for now, I think it's for the best to keep it between you and I. All right?" The girl nodded. She somehow managed to find sense in the young woman's words.

"Good" Aya smiled.

"Now, go to bed. I'll see you home tomorrow"

The girl laid herself in the soft sheets in Aya's bed. Aya herself walked out of the room as soon as the girl was a sleep. She knew of a guest room that was currently empty. She could sleep there tonight. Though, before she managed to get that far, someone stepped in front of her just as she exited her room. She looked up and met blue eyes that she knew all too well. When she realised who was standing before her, she quickly shifted her gaze to the floor.

"Who was that?" Mordred asked. Aya didn't answer. She didn't want to speak with him - as usual. Though, Mordred was persistent.

"Who _was_ that?" He asked again, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"None of your concern" Aya coldly announced. A flash of hurt stroke the young Druids eyes as he heard the words. But he kept on going - worried of her safety, as he knew what she was.

"Aya. I'm not letting you leave until you tell me" he said, trying to make her understand that he wanted to help. Something he hadn't been able to make her realise before - with good reasons.

"Fine" she said. Mordred thought she had finally given up but all hope shattered when he saw her sit down. He sighed. Now Aya was the one to think he gave up. Though, Mordred sat down across from her, staring at her as though that would make her answer. That turned out to be true a few minutes later. Aya stood up exclaiming an annoyed snort. She was all too tired and stressed to play games. It had been a long day.

"Fine!" she said. Mordred was overwhelmed by Aya's sudden give. He remembered her as the most stubborn girl, he had ever met. He stood up too and looked hopeful at her, waiting for her explanation.

"A girl was attacked this evening. I just brought her to my chambers to offer her a safe night. That's all" Aya said looking down at the 'that's all'. She was usually a splendid liar, but Mordred seemed to have the ability to look straight through her. Though, even if he had lost her trust, Mordred still trusted her more than anyone and accepted the explanation. He took a step to the side and let her go through. As soon as Aya saw the opening she walked fast past him. She couldn't imagine the hurt in Mordreds eyes as he watched her escape. _I guess it isn't possible for me to regain her trust after all_, Mordred thought. Sad, he turned his back to the way she went, and walked to his room...

He suddenly woke when he heard yelling and running in the corridor. Quickly, he dressed and grabbed his sword. When he opened the door, he saw knights as well as guards yelling all sorts of things like:

"I need a bandage!"

"Somebody, help!" and most of all:

"What were those creatures?"

He realised they were being attacked and one thought popped in his mind. _Is Aya safe?_ He ran the way, he'd seen her walk just a few hours before, and found the guest room. But when he entered, he saw, it was empty. He mumbled a bad word and hurried on to find her. He asked every single person he passed, on his way to her room, if anyone had seen her. Though, everyone were minding their own business, not showing the least of interest in the young knight. It was clear, whatever had struck them, was feared. When he finally reached her room, the door was locked. He knocked on it, yelling her name, but no answer came. Running out of patience he ran to the throne room, hoping she would be with Arthur and Merlin. True enough, when he reached the room, she was right next to Merlin, a pale girl holding tight on the back of Aya's cloak. They looked up as he entered, his relieved eyes only on Aya.

"Ah, Mordred. Nice to see you joining the group." Arthur said. Mordred looked to him.

"What is going on?" Mordred asked. Arthur's face turned stern.

"Some kind of dark ghosts are attacking. They float and wear big black cloaks. Some of the villagers have seen their faces and describes them as thin and pale and with golden eyes. Gaius is searching of the origin of this creature at this moment. Don't worry, we will find a way to destroy them! For know, we can only house as many people as possible, and hope they won't attack. Nothing seems to kill them or even make them flee." Arthur explained. Mordred's look turned concerned once again.

"Is there really no way of defeating them?" Mordred asked, and didn't notice how Aya had been looking at the ground for the whole conversation.

"I'm afraid not -" said Arthur but was cut off by the doors opening. Gaius stepped in.

"Gaius! Have you found anything?" Arthur asked, trying not to get his hopes too high. To his joy, Gaius nodded.

"They are indeed rare creatures." Gaius said as he pondered.

"What are they?" Asked Merlin.

"They are lost souls. When they died, their souls were taken by the Ghost Keeper - a ferocious woman who agonies the souls she manages to capture until they are so weak, they let her eat them. Someone must have made a deal with her to release them." Gaius explained. Merlin got a look of pain in his eyes, feeling bad for the creatures.

"But how do we stop them?" Arthur asked.

"We need to make a deal with the Keeper, that she cannot resist. She requires a soul so rare or extraordinary that she cannot turn down." Gaius said and looked down.

"A life" Arthur said. Gaius nodded faintly. There was a piercing silence as everyone took in what had been said. Then Arthur shocked everyone by speaking.

"Where and how do we get in contact with her?" he asked.

"She catches her souls in moon light. We will be able to see her where important lives lie" Gaius answered. Arthur nodded, showing that he understood.

"Valley of the Fallen Kings"

**...**

The next morning Arthur, Mordred, Gwaine, Aya and Merlin made their horses ready. The losses hadn't been too big, but of course every human life taken was a great loss. That's why Arthur decided they would go as fast as possible. Full moon was still a few days away, but it would also take some time to reach Valley of the Fallen Kings. He hadn't answered when they asked him, who would be the sacrifice, but knowing their king, they all knew what he intended to do - and none of them were going to let him do it.

Darkness crept closer earlier than usual. The moonlight was faint in the Dark Woods. Arthur soon stopped the small patrol and declared it was time to set camp. In the distance they could hear screams of the souls as well as the humans. It seemed the souls liked rising with the moon. Arthur took the first night watch. Not that he could protect them if any souls came. Luckily they didn't and the turn passed on to Gwaine, then Mordred and at last it was Aya's turn. She sat close to the fire to keep warm in the autumn night. The night was silent. The moon was not out, so the screams had stopped. The only thing, she could hear, was the swaying wind and the breaths of her companions. Suddenly, she heard a faint whimper. She turned around quickly, and saw it was only Merlin who wakened.

"Hmm?" he yawned. Aya smiled slightly at his sleepy face. He noticed her, smiled and walked to sit beside her.

"It has been a calm night" he said, pleased that there had been no attacks.

"For now" Aya said. He looked at her closely. There was so much mystery about this woman. He didn't know much about her – she hadn't said anything about her past, other than being a druid. She noticed his gaze and returned it.

"Where are you from?" she surprised him by asking.

"A small village in Cendred's kingdom called Ealdor" he answered. Her eyes softened, and he thought she looked so kind and open. He hadn't seen this look on her before. She was always the cold, mysterious woman that no one knew. Except Mordred, but he didn't seem to want to talk about their past.

"It sounds peaceful" she whispered, so Merlin had to lean in, to hear what she said. He smiled as he thought of Ealdor.

"Yes. It's very simple out there." Aya smiled at his response. Oh, how she wished, she could've grown up as him. Of course, that was impossible.

"What about your family?" she asked, not really looking him in the eye.

"My mother is still in Ealdor. She's well, I think. It has always been just her and I. My father -" Merlin stopped, remembering the death of the dragon lord. Aya noticed his eyes saddened. Hers did as well.

"He's gone" he whispered. Aya nodded understandingly.

"I'm sorry" she said. Merlin nodded.

"I only knew him for a few days. He died protecting me" tears formed in his eyes, as he thought of the little time he had had with his father. Aya held his shoulder softly, showing that she could relate. He looked at her, and saw that she was in tears as well. When he looked at her, she quickly turned away. She didn't want him to see her crying. Oblivious to the real reason she was crying, Merlin smiled at his friend. He took in a deep breath and smiled his usual smile.

"Where did you grow up?" He asked wanting to know more about his mysterious friend. It surprised him, when she shrugged.

"Here and there. Everywhere, really" she said. Merlin looked dumbfounded.  
_Didn't she say that she and Mordred grew up together? _He asked her about it and she sighed.

"It's more complicated than that." He looked at her with waiting eyes, expecting her to continue. So she did.

"As little, I was taken from my parents. My mother couldn't take care of me, so the Druids took me in. Though, I wasn't born by a Druid, so I wasn't accepted completely. When I turned 6, they got me a pony - Silver - and then I were to find another group to stay with. For a while, Silver and I lived in the woods alone. I had learned to hunt, so I did. I learned to make use of the shadows so the victim would not see me. After about 7 months, I found another group - or they found me. It was actually Mordred who found me. He took me back to his camp and they discussed what to do with me. At last a family decided to take me in. There, I lived for 13 years. Since then, I have been living by myself, hidden in dark places." Aya felt a lightness in her heart. For the first time in years, she had opened up. She was happy that Merlin was the first, she opened up to. Merlin looked at her with worried eyes.

_How strong she has been, in such a young age_, he thought._ No wonder she is so quiet about her past_.

"You won't be alone any more" he said, not able to imagine how lonely she had been.

"You're a knight of Camelot now! You're our friend! My friend!" he said and smiled an uplifting smile. She smiled too. And there they sat watching the sun rise as they kept talking about them selves.


	10. Chapter 10 - Getting closer to one anoth

**Chapter 10 - Getting closer to one another**

As the sun rose, so did the rest of the knights. Mordred was first to see Aya and Merlin sit and talk, as though they had been friends for years. He smiled at the sight. It was what she had come for after all. They noticed the awakened knights and everyone saddled their horses after eating breakfast.

"It turned out to be a calm night" Arthur said, relieved.

"Yes. It would be bad if they came, so Merlin had to hide in a tree" Aya said and smirked at Merlin.

"What? I'm a _great_ fighter!" Merlin said, pretending to be offended. The both of them laughed. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"You seem to be getting along" he said and shot Merlin a knowing look. Merlin ignored it and kept smiling. The knights where stunned at the sight of Aya laughing. Mordred gazed at her. _It's been so long since I've seen her smile. Too long_, he thought. The mood brightened by seeing their friends' smiles. They all smiled and laughed, forgetting the terror that haunted for a while.

The glad faces weakened as the sun made its way down. The moon rose and reminded them of what would come. They heard a not too distant scream. Everyone speeded their pace in hope of not meeting the soul that had screamed. Merlin looked terrified. He didn't know if even _he_ could stop them. He felt helpless. Aya slowed her pace so Merlin would ride at her side. If the souls were to attack, she wanted to protect him. He meant a lot to her, even though they had just met. She gave him a reassuring smile as he caught up with her. He smiled back nervously. Suddenly everyone looked at Arthur, when they heard his horse's shriek. Before them were three souls. They stared at them for a while with their golden eyes. Then the closest one screamed and Arthur yelled: "Run!" – So they did. Aya let the king and the knights ride before her, so she was sure no one was left behind. Silver was not just a beautiful horse – he was also quite fast. Therefore it was no problem catching up with the others. Though now, the souls were after her. She couldn't ride closer to the others, or the souls would just go after them as well. Merlin looked back, noticing the absence of his friend. He saw her just in time before she took a sharp turn. The souls went after her.

"Aya!" he screamed, frustrated. He stopped and Arthur and the others had heard him scream. They stopped as well and looked the way Merlin was looking. They also noticed that Aya was not there. Mordred's eyes went black.

"Aya!" he screamed as Merlin had. _I should've known, she would do something like this, _he thought. _She always thinks of others before herself._

"Where did she go?" Arthur asked confused. Merlin shook his head.

"It's too dark. I couldn't see" he answered, looking down. Arthur clenched his teeth.

"We have to find her before the souls catch up with her!" he said and rode one way. The others followed – determined to find their friend who had just saved them, again.

The knights and Merlin yelled her name as they rode in circles in the Darkling Woods. Mordred and Merlin yelling louder and more desperate than the others. Just a few hours ago, Merlin had ridden beside her, talking and laughing. Somehow he had come to care for her a great deal. He already thought of her as someone who could accept him – the _real_ him. He wanted to tell her, what he was. He knew she would support him – he just knew! Something about her, made him feel like, he knew her. Something in his heart told him, she was familiar – he just couldn't put his finger on _what_ _was so familiar_ about her. It was something about the waves of her hair. The colour of her eyes. But most of all – her personality. Even though she seemed cold to everyone, Merlin knew, that she had a gentle and fair heart. He felt a sting in his heart as he thought of her. _What if the souls had caught her? What if she was lying face down on the ground unconscious right now? _Merlin felt himself being more and more concerned for his dear new friend. Mordred was worried as well. Though, he believed in Aya. He knew of her strength and the loyalty of her horse. He noticed Merlin's furrowed eyebrows and rode up to him.

"Don't worry. They won't catch her. Silver is the fastest horse I've ever seen. He won't let them take her away. He'll protect her" Mordred assured. Merlin looked at him, still concerned.

"How do you know?" he asked suspicious.

"We've lived together, remember? I've known her most of my life" Mordred answered. Merlin felt a slight sting of jealousy as he remembered. He wanted to know about Aya and her past, but he didn't want to hear it from Mordred. Merlin kicked his horse, even more obsessed with finding her.

**…**

Silver panted and snorted. Sweat ran down its mane. It was strong and fast but even for a fit horse it was difficult to maintain a pace this fast for too long. But he was determined on getting Aya into safety. The girl he had sworn to protect since she saved him. She was the only family he had. The souls were already out of sight, but Silver ran on to make sure they couldn't sense them. Finally Silver slowed his pace but he did not stop completely. Aya patted him on the neck, showing her gratefulness. Silver calmed down, believing they were safe. That was, until they could hear rustling bushes and snapping branches. Silver turned his head towards the sound, trying to figure out if they were friends or foes. Silver laid back its ears and walked towards the rustling bushes. Out of the bushes, came a very anxious-looking Merlin.


	11. Chapter 11 - Her secret

**A/N**

FINALLY a new chapter is up! I'm so sorry it's been so long! A lot has been going on, and I haven't been able to upload!  
But it's here now! :p  
I reeeeally hope you like it, because this is kinda important to the story :-)

Revealing on its way! :-)  
Hope you enjoy! :-))

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin :b

* * *

**Chapter 11 - Her secret**

The sun shone brightly in contrast to the long night, they had just had. Everyone was tired. After finding each other, they had set a small camp, but a few hours later the sun came out, so no one had slept at all – except Gwaine who could sleep anywhere, anytime. Merlin nearly cried out of relieve, when they had reunited. Aya was overwhelmed by her welcome. She couldn't help but feel happy, by the sight of the knights and Merlin. The knights were so tired, they didn't notice the silhouette of the White Mountains grow bigger. They rode in silence – well, except for Gwaine.

"The moon will be full in a few days' time. I wonder how the Keeper will look. It was a woman, no? Collecting souls, she mustn't be too pretty. I mean, imagine how lonesome it must be… Oh, look! Mountains!" Gwaine rambled. Arthur looked up at Gwaine's last word.

"The White Mountains" Arthur said. "We're close". The rest looked up. Before them were large mountains on either side of a narrow road. Aya turned her head and looked down at the road. Mordred noticed and raised an eyebrow. He didn't want to pry, though. They walked further along the road, traveling closer and closer to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. It would soon be full moon. Aya was in her own thoughts for the whole day not uttering a single word. Mordred worried more and more, for every minute she did not speak. When it turned night, they set up a camp between the tall mountains. The mountains shadowed the moons light, concealing their camp. They heard faint screams in the distance, but not close enough for them to worry. They took shifts. Aya had the last one – just before dawn. She sat with her arms wrapped around herself. The cold wind swayed through their camp, making her shiver. Suddenly a warm piece of cloth was wrapped around her shoulders. At first, her instincts told her to stand up and draw her sword at the person, but then she realized, she wasn't in that environment anymore. She looked up into a pair of blue eyes. Merlin sat down next to her, and she looked away from him. He kept staring at her. She felt uncomfortable under his gaze. She kept staring forward, ignoring him. He continued to stare at her, and they sat like that for a little while.

"What's wrong?" he finally asked. He had studied her face, trying to figure out, why she wouldn't speak to him. She continued to gaze forward, ignoring him. His face fell a bit, sad that she ignored him. Just two days ago they had talked so much and were such great friends, but since yesterday, she hadn't spoken to him or even looked at him _once_. He knew, that she wouldn't do it for no reason, so something had to be wrong. He wanted her to trust him and tell him her worries. He sighed.

"Did I do something? I'm really sorry if I did, but I wouldn't know, if you won't tell me" he said. She peeked at him and saw his pleading eyes. Her eyes softened. She just couldn't resist.

"No, you didn't do anything" she said but still continued to stare forward. Surprised by hearing her voice he lifted his head from his knees.

"Then what is it?" he asked and scooted closer to her. She bit her lip, discussing with herself whether she should tell him or not. She wanted him to know but on the other hand, he could get in trouble…

"It's just… We're soon there. The Valley of the Fallen Kings, and… I'm just… not ready yet" she said so quietly that Merlin had to lean in to hear her words. He smiled reassuring.

"Worried about Arthur? Don't worry. We won't let him sacrifice himself" he said truthfully.

"No, I know. I won't either. But I don't want to lose you" she said and gazed upon the stars, not wanting to meet Merlin's eyes. He looked down.

"You know. I suppose I can't fool you. It's nothing really. What is a servant's life compared to a king's anyway?" he said and faked a laugh, trying to brighten up the mood.

"But you're not just a servant" she said, still looking at the sky. At this, Merlin jolted his head in her direction.

"How – I mean… What are you talking about?" he said, trying to cover up.

"Don't play a fool. You know what I'm talking about – Emrys" she said. He felt his heartbeat quicken.

"How… How do you know?" he said, still taken by surprise that she knew.

"I grew up with druids, remember?" she said quietly, still looking at the sky. He noticed a slight pain in her eyes, when she spoke. He furrowed his eyebrows. What was it about her that was still such a mystery?

"Who were your real parents?" he asked. He remembered her telling, that she was taken from her mother. She continued to look at the sky discussing with herself if she should tell him. _I don't have much time left with him… I really want to tell him…_ she thought. She took a deep sigh and shifted her gaze on to the ground.

"I've never met my father. But I've seen him once. He was on the run from Uther. He didn't know that I existed. I don't really remember my mother, since I was taking in by the druids as little. I only remember the name of the village, and my brother" she said, tears forming in her eyes. She didn't want him to know what she was, but she wanted to tell him _that_. She wanted him to remember her.

"What village was it?" he asked softly. She fiddled with her fingers trying to find the courage to tell him the rest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She mumbled something so quietly that Merlin couldn't hear.

"What?" he asked, leaning in to catch the word. She tried again, and this time he heard her.

"Ealdor" Merlin felt his heart jump to his throat. _She lived in Ealdor?_

"W-what –" he stuttered not managing to say a whole sentence. She continued to look down.

"I don't blame you for not remembering. You were just a baby too after all" she said. Several thoughts and questions ran in his mind.

"Your mother… is she…?" he asked not able to say what he wanted to. She understood him, though.

"She is Hunith. My father was the Dragon lord, Balinor. My brother is said to be the greatest warlock there is. He's known between Druids as Emrys" at this point Aya was crying. She had finally told him! Merlin couldn't believe it. Teardrops left his eyes as well. He had a _sister_? How come his mother never told him? He couldn't stop the wide smile spread on his face. _That's why she looked so familiar!_ He thought. He chuckled happily. It was like when he met his father, who he didn't know was alive. He felt so happy that no words could describe it. He put his arms around his sister pulling her in for a hug. They sat like that for a while, crying and smiling as they had finally reunited.

Not far away a figure leaned up against a tree. He had heard everything.

"So she decided to tell him, huh?" Mordred whispered to himself.

"That can't be a good sign…"


	12. Chapter 12 - The Keeper

**A/N**Aaaah, so many feeels ;_;

I really hope you like this chapter, since I really enjoyed writing it!

Gaah, Mordred's just too cute!

Anyway, I shouldn't blabber too much... On with the story! :-D

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Merlin :bbbb ('cause if I did, Mordred obviously wouldn't be the bad guy... he's too cute :3 )

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**Chapter 12 - The Keeper**

Merlin sat on his horse thinking about the night before and peeking at Aya.

_"Don't tell Arthur, or the others about this" Aya said a bit nervously. He furrowed his eyebrows._

_"Why not?" Merlin asked._

_"If he knew you were brother to a Druid, don't you think he'd be suspicious as to if you had any magical powers?" Aya said. Merlin nodded faintly. He understood, but he wanted to brag about his new sister._

Merlin sighed happily. Arthur sent his friend a weird look.

"What are you so happy about?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm?" Merlin looked to Arthur. He cleared his throat and put on a stern face.

"That's more like you" Arthur said. "It won't be far now."

They reached a small river and took a break to fill their sacks.

"We're in the outskirts of the Valley of the Fallen Kings now" Arthur said. Silence emerged. Everyone had their own thoughts on how to stop their king from surrendering to the Keeper. Too caught up in their own thoughts, they failed to notice the arrow being pierced through the tree next to the river. Aya had of course heard it and immediately drew her bow in the direction the arrow was shot from. The others noticed and drew their swords as well. There was silence for a minute, where the only thing they could hear, were their calm breaths waiting for the rest of the attack. Then it came. Several men ran towards them with their axes and swords drawn. The fight began. Though they had been rash to attack, the attackers were quite skilled in battling. Arthur stabbed one and moved on to the next. Merlin leaned against a tree, trying to protect his friends from the side. He would protect his friends over himself anytime. Including right now. He was too busy worrying over his friends and his secret, that he didn't notice the axe being swung towards him. Only when he heard his name escape from Aya's lips, did he notice, he had been hit. Not long after, he saw an arrow with the familiar pattern hit the attacker right in his neck. It was a deadly blow, that didn't kill in an instant. The rest of the attackers lay scattered on the ground. Arthur ran to Merlin, who lay on the ground, bleeding with Aya at his side. Aya gently pushed Arthur back, so she had space to look at his wound. She ripped a shred of her inner shirt and wrapped it around his wound. It wasn't deep, but he still shouldn't move too much. Not that he could – every movement shot a great pain through his shoulder and down his arm and chest.

"He's alright, he just needs to lay still" Aya told the worried knights.

"There's no way he will be able to join us, when we meet the Keeper" she said. Whatever protests Merlin had, he couldn't say them out loud when Aya shot him a stern look. Arthur nodded and turned to Gwaine.

"Gwaine, Aya and Leon, you three stay here with Merlin and treat his wound. Mordred and Percival ride with me to make sure the Keeper keeps her word." The knights nodded in approval, except Aya who stood up.

"Sire, I wish to ride with you to meet the Keeper" she said.

"You know how to treat him. You will stay" Arthur said and turned around to end the conversation. However, Aya was persistent.

"It won't be enough to just stand in the valley. How will you find the Keeper? I know how to summon her. You need me" she said. Arthur turned to look at her. No one noticed how Merlin constantly shook his head. At last the king nodded.

"Very well. We ride after dinner." The knights split up; some to collect firewood, some to make dinner and other things that Merlin would be doing if it wasn't for his wound. Aya stayed at his side, keeping him company.

"Why – Why did you do that?" he stuttered, trying to catch his breath.

"They can't contact the Keeper without me" Aya excused, even though she knew what he meant.

"If Arthur sacrifices himself, and I'm not there to stop him. What – What will become of Camelot?" Merlin gasped for air and held his shoulder in pain. Aya kneeled down next to him and took his head between her hands.

"I won't let him. I promise" she said while forcing him to look into her eyes. Merlin sighed, relieved. He was too tired to worry about _how_ Aya had planned to stop Arthur. He fell asleep with her humming next to him. At that moment, all was almost at peace.

**…**

Night came and the knights were full and ready to ride the little path there was to the centre of the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin could now sit up straight without hurting too much. But he was still to stay behind as Arthur, Percival, Mordred and Aya rode to meet the Keeper.

Aya lead them to a tall gate, made out of stone and grass.

"It's not long from here" Aya said. Arthur nodded.

"Percival, you stay here and guard, so no one interrupts us. If something goes wrong, don't hesitate to ride back and inform the others" Arthur said, his tone very serious. Percival nodded and stayed behind. He could only watch as the three of them rode away knowing, one of them wouldn't return.

Night crept closer. Mordred and Aya stood behind Arthur. Mordred looked to his left when he heard a scream closing in. The moon light lit up the entire clearing they were in.

"It shouldn't be long now" Aya said. Arthur nodded faintly, and didn't notice how her eyes turned golden for a second. Suddenly, fog rose. Clouds moved, revealing the full moon. Loud screams echoed in the valley, causing them to cover their ears in pain. Arthur closed his eyes trying to shut out the loud noises. Then, silence. When Arthur opened his eyes, it was as though time stood still. The screams were muted, but they were still there. He let his arms fall down to his sides and looked ahead. A person in a pitch-black cloak with the hood covering their face, stood a few metres away.

"What precious souls who have decided to pay me a visit" the person said, the voice indicating it was a woman. Arthur felt uncomfortable, thinking she meant him, as she pulled her hood of and looked at him. What he didn't notice, was that her gaze was set on someone behind him.

"I am here to make a deal with you. Call back your souls, and I will give you a new one in return" Arthur said, not showing his fear for the woman, who was known to torment souls. In fact he was frightened to be pulled into her world, but he wouldn't let anyone else suffer. The Keeper smirked.

"And who amongst this splendid choice of souls shall be the sacrifice?" she asked, her eyes resting on every one of them, making them shiver under her stare. After a short break, too much happened at once. Arthur stepped forward, but before he reached her hand, he felt a strong invisible push in his chest, making him fall backwards pinned to the ground unconscious. Mordred looked with wide eyes at his king. Then his gaze turned forward as he saw a shadow move. Aya was walking closer to the Keeper. He called for her, but she did not hear him – her eyes were fixed on the Keeper.

"My, my" said the Keeper in a bittersweet voice. "What a soul to offer! I don't believe I ever had such a soul. What has it been? A hundred years since the last of your kind walked on earth? Maybe a thousand? Oh, how I pity you! Come to me, child. I have so many things I want to try with you." Aya walked forward to grab her outstretched hand, but something pulled her from behind. Before she knew it, she was staring at a straight back. Modred had pulled her behind him to protect her.

"I won't let you take her. She has suffered enough. Take me instead!" Mordred said, anger boiling inside of him. Aya stared stunningly at him. _He's protecting me? _All kinds of thoughts ran through her mind. All the memories from when he found her, the accident, to they met again and up until now. Both bad and good memories filled her head. She didn't know what to think of him anymore. She knew how, she felt; she just couldn't _let_ herself feel that way. But now as he was standing protectively in front of her, she really didn't want to grab the woman's hand and forever be tortured. But she knew, she had to do it. For Camelot, Arthur, the other knights, for Merlin… And for Mordred. She jumped slightly when she heard the Keeper speak again.

"Why would I accept the soul of a mere Druid – even though you are quite fun – when I can get a soul of _that_" she said and pointed at Aya. Mordred felt himself losing control. _That_ was a woman, stronger than anyone. _That_ was the most caring, beautiful and amazing person to walk on earth. _That_ was someone he **loved** more than anyone or anything! He had always felt this way; he had just always been too scared to tell her. He wanted her to know how he felt, to prove himself and regain her trust. He wanted to hold hands and go on picnics together. There was so much he wanted to do and to tell her. There was _no way_ anyone could stand in his way of doing that. The Keeper scuffed at Mordred's attempt on trading himself.

"Move, boy, or I will do it by force. I shall have the Shadow's soul, one way or another" she said. Aya jumped slightly at the word _'Shadow'_. How she hated that word. Mordred remained protectively in front of Aya. In the meantime, she was coming up with a plan. She didn't want him to get hurt. At least she realized that much.

"Mordred" she said, catching him off guard by calling his name. She took the change to leap for the Keeper. He caught her wrist and was just about to tell her, to stay behind him, when she surprised him once again. Her lips collided with his. The first pair of seconds he was too shocked to do anything. After realizing it was not a dream, he forgot everything around them and responded to the kiss. She pulled back and he let his eyelids open slowly to capture the moment. Too late, he realized his surroundings. Too late, he screamed her name. Too late, he saw her take the Keepers hand. Too late, he ran to stop her. Just as she took hold of the Keepers hand, they and all the other souls disappeared from this world, leaving Mordred alone with an unconscious king. Mordred fell to his knees in despair, feeling nothing but emptiness in his young heart.

_I lost her once. I swore not to lose her again… Why?_


	13. Chapter 13 - Grief

**A/N**Sooo sorry!

I've been on holiday and stupid me forgot to bring my laptop, so I couldn't upload... gahhh...

So now, that I've finally come home, it's really late, but I wanted to post a new chapter!  
This has been written on paper in an aeroplane, taxi and on a cafe, so I'm sorry that I haven't corrected all of the mistakes :-P

Again, thank you soooo much for reading, reviewing, following and what not! I really appreciate it! :-)

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Nope, still don't own Merlin... ... ... ... ... ...

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**Chapter 13 - Grief**

Arthur walked towards the Keeper, prepared to go with her to be forever tormented. However, just as he was about to grab her hand, he felt a strong force push him, and soon he slipped into darkness.

Arthur fluttered his eyelids open. _This must be the Keeper's world_, he thought. _Funny, I thought it'd be darker._ He looked around and realized, he was still in the clearing where they had summoned the Keeper. He sat up straight in a quick movement, ignoring the sudden dizziness in his head. He studied the area closely. It was a new day. The sun stood tall and bright on the sky. There was no sign of the Souls. He looked closer and saw a body on its knees, staring of into the distance. _Mordred_. Arthur walked closer to the Druid. His arms hung limply down his sides. His eyes were red and swollen as though he had cried, but were now emotionless. Everything seemed wrong about the usually cheerful knight. Arthur reached a hand toward the pale face in front of him, scared that his hand would go through him like a ghost. It didn't, but Arthur couldn't help but shiver at the cold skin he met. The Druid didn't show any signs that he had noticed the monarch. Even when Arthur called his name several times, did he move or blink. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows- What could upset the Druid so much, that he barely showed any signs of life? Then it hit him. He looked around the clearing again hoping – _pleading_ – that he had missed something – or rather: someone. He got up on his feet and shouted her name. No response. At that point, Arthur – for once – had no idea what to do.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way!_ He thought. **_I_**_ was the one who should have been taken! __**I **__was the one who should suffer! What should I do? What should I tell them? What should I tell Melrin?_ Arthur was at this point pacing back and forth grabbing his hair in frustration. He was worried to say the least. Worried about Mordred, Merlin and all the other knights when they would find out she had been taken instead of him. But most of all, he worried about _her_. He knew she was strong and stubborn, but how long could a person stand to be tortured? Arthur didn't want to think about it. He forced himself to calm down, knowing his knights would need someone to keep up their strength. He once again tried to get a reaction from Mordred. He nudged him and shook him, but still got no response. Sighing, he thought of what to do next.

**…**

Emptiness. Darkness. That was all Mordred felt. The despair and agony he had felt in his heart was too painful, so he had locked it up inside him. His heart ached at the sound of her name, when Arthur screamed for her, but he remained emotionless on the outside. Though inside he was torn apart. It felt as though someone had seized his heart and ripped it into small pieces. His head pounded like crazy when he thought of a world, which she was no longer a part of. The lips, that had only a few hours ago felt her soft ones, were now dry to the point where they had small cracks and were covered in dried blood. He didn't react when Arthur spoke to him, too caught up in his own thoughts. Or rather – he just didn't want to return to a world where Ay- _she_ wasn't in. If he were to speak, he feared that his voice would break, and that he wouldn't be able to keep his emotions to himself. If he spoke, he would return to the world – he would _accept _her death – and that was something he didn't want to. So he stayed in his coma-like state and didn't answer. Though he knew, he had to wake up at some point.

**…**

Arthur had given up on shaking him. He tried one last thing – to speak to him.

"Mordred, I know this is difficult, but we need to report to the others. I'm sure she would want us to stay alive – or else her sacrifice would be for nothing, wouldn't it?" Mordred didn't even stir, and for a minute, Arthur was frightened that he had lost the young man forever. He turned around and thought of what to do. After a moment, he heard rustling and turned to see Mordred standing up. A relieved smile spread on the king's face. The two of them didn't speak as they walked to the gate of stones, where they had left Percival the day before.

"Percival!" Arthur called. He knew the strong man was capable of taking care of himself, but he still felt guilty for leaving him alone with the Souls – especially on a full moon- He felt a little part of the great burden on his shoulders be lifted as the unharmed man turned up.

"Arthur!" he yelled, forgetting to address him properly because of his relief that his king – his friend – was alright. They met in a light hug, both relieved that they were alright. Percival went on and was about to give Mordred a pat on his shoulder, when he noticed the empty look in his friend's eyes. His smile turned upside down, when he realized one of his friends were missing. He uttered a low 'oh' and looked down. They were all quiet for a minute honouring their friends sacrifice.

"Let's get back" Arthur said quietly. He didn't really want to return and see Merlin's face when he told him. But he knew he owed her at least that much.

**…**

The morning was beautiful. Merlin had heard the Souls last screams when they left this world. He hadn't slept as he had kept worrying about Arthur. He'd wanted to go and stop him himself, but his body was too tired and exhausted from the wound in his shoulder. It was much better already, but now, all he could do was wait for their return. Finally, he heard footsteps in the distance. He sprang up on his feet – as he was now perfectly capable of walking – and stared at the trees waiting to see _who_ returned. Nothing could describe the relief and happiness that flooded through him, when he saw Arthur being one of those who returned. He sprinted towards him and nearly cried out of relief when he saw, that his best friend was alive. Not once did he ask himself who the sacrifice had been. He looked at Percival and Mordred entering and failed to notice their sad mines, too happy that everyone was alright. _Everyone…_

"Where's Aya?" He first realized his own words when he saw the apologetic and sad face Arthur made. He took a few steps back in shock.

"No" he whispered. _This can't be real._

"No!" he said. _This can't be happening._

"NO!" he yelled. Tears streamed down his face but he barely registered them as he searched Arthur's face, pleading him to say it wasn't true, that this was all just a nightmare, and soon he would wake up and tell his sister about what he did today. But no such sign showed in the king's face. Merlin wanted to scream at them for not bringing her back. But he knew it wasn't their fault. Just one look at Mordred and he realized, that he wasn't the only one who cared deeply for her. He forced himself silent but couldn't help the few sniffs and hiccups that escaped his mouth. It was a quiet day from then. They travelled a bit and set a camp at night. No one talked, not even Gwaine. Merlin sat by the fire long after the knights had gone to sleep. Except Mordred, who had gone to God knows where. Merlin understood him. He had, after all, been closest to her, even if she had refused to speak with him. A pat on his shoulder drew his attention away from the fire. He wiped his swollen eyes and scooted over so Arthur could sit next to him. They sat like that for a minute until Arthur broke the silence.

"I'm sorry" he said. Merlin turned his head and looked confused at his best friend.

"I couldn't stop her" he explained. Merlin nodded, his sad face replacing the confused one.

"It wasn't your fault" Merlin assured.

"I shouldn't have brought her. It should've been me!" Arthur exclaimed. Merlin didn't know what to say. Of course it shouldn't have been Arthur but Aya was… He held his tears back at the thought of her. His silence took Arthur by surprise. It was not what he had expected. Merlin, his most trusted friend, was supposed to say 'I'm glad it wasn't you' or something, but instead he had said nothing, indicating that he agreed – or so Arthur thought. He felt a sting of pain as he thought Merlin would actually prefer him dead over Aya.

"Were you really _that _close?" Arthur asked doubtful, covering the hurt he was feeling. At this, Merlin's anger came out at once.

"_Yes_, we _were_!" He yelled as loud as he could without waking the other knights.

"Of course we were! Even if we only knew each other for a short while, I _loved_ her! And I still do!" Arthur felt the pain in his heart increase by his words. _So, Merlin has found a girl he loves… Loved. _He couldn't help but feel jealous at his love for the woman. _He_ should be the one, he would choose anytime – that's how Arthur felt about Merlin, so it hurt to know that it wasn't returned. Merlin was yelling at him, but he didn't really listen. That was, until…

"… She is after all my sister!" Arthur's head jerked up as he heard his words.

"Wait… Your… Sister?!" Arthur asked. Merlin looked down, finally calming down a bit. He nodded slightly.

"Why… Why didn't you tell me?" Arthur asked, feeling sad that Merlin wouldn't trust him enough to tell him.

"I'm sorry, I… She… She thought it would be better not to… Since she's a Druid… She thought you might suspect me of having magic if we told you. I'm sorry" Merlin brought his knees to his chest, thinking about when she had told him. He'd felt so happy. He'd sworn to protect her… Like he'd sworn to protect Freya… He couldn't help but feel useless. He couldn't protect the ones closest to him – the ones who mattered the most.

Arthur nodded faintly. He understood her way of thinking, but he would never do such a thing. Even if Merlin _did _have magic – which of course was a stupid idea. Who would waste such powers on such a clumsy idiot, who couldn't hurt a fly? – he would find a way. Merlin wasn't evil, he knew that with all his heart, so there was no way he would allow him to leave his side. But that was of course if Merlin _wanted_ to. After all, he had just lost his sister because of him. Arthur's guilt worsened and got to the point where he wasn't able to look in Merlin's eyes. He felt a pat on his shoulder and after a while turned to meet the trusted blue eyes he knew so well.

"It isn't your fault. I don't blame you – so you shouldn't blame yourself either" Merlin said softly. Arthur lifted his head to look at his servant. The trust, faith and determination in his eyes made the king feel a great deal of the weight on his shoulders being lifted. Merlin had a way of always cheering him up – even if he was devastated himself. Arthur looked with admiring eyes on the frail man. He put a hand on his shoulder, making his friend look at him.

"It's alright, Merlin. You don't have to act strong in front of me. I'll lend you a shoulder. I'll protect you" Arthur said in a surprisingly comforting voice. Merlin's eyes started to water again. He didn't even try to stop them as teardrops fell from his eyes. Arthur pulled his friend's head down on his shoulder and ruffled Merlin's hair in that familiar way, comforting him and reminding him, that he wasn't alone. They sat like that for a while, not realizing the sun ride, casting a beautiful red colour on the sky.

By the time the other knights woke, they had both drifted in to a calm sleep in their sitting position with Merlin leaning his head on Arthur's shoulder. The knights didn't wake them, assuming by the look of both Arthur and Merlin's red eyes, that they needed the sleep. When the pair woke, it seemed for a while like a normal day. Gwaine kept teasing Arthur and Merlin, saying he'd tell Guinevere about them, and then making up stories about how she'd punish the both of them. They all laughed, trying to forget about yesterday's events by joking. By the time the night came and the moon lit up the woods, they all went silent, remembering everything. They sat in silence around the fire, all in their own thoughts. Mordred still hadn't shown up, but knowing he lost more than they could ever imagine, Arthur thought it'd be better for him to grieve alone. He would be back when he was ready.


	14. Chapter 14 - Get to know her

**A/N  
**Sooo... Reeeally long chapter for you guys!  
I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit boring, but I felt like I finally needed to let you know about Aya's past!  
I hope you guys like this! ('cause I really enjoyed writing this... c: )

Anyway, on with the revealing!

**Disclaimer:** Nope, still don't own Merlin :b

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**Chapter 14 - Get to know her**

Mordred had gone through the first two stages: grief and emptiness. Now, he reached the third: regret. There was so much he hadn't done – hadn't told her. Hell, all he wanted was for her to know his feelings. She had still thought of him as the stupid little boy, who set fire to the stables – which she had never forgiven him for, for obvious reasons. He hadn't explained. He wanted her to know, he would do anything for her. Change the past, if he could. Die instead of her. _Anything_. Every single piece of him screamed, pleaded and _hungered_ for her, when she wasn't near. His lips still tickled, when he remembered the sensation of her touch. He wanted to walk with her, make her laugh and grow old together. Briefly: he loved her. But now it was too late. Even if a small – _tiny _– hope of her feeling the same way had appeared at that time, it was too late. It wasn't just that, which made his heart crumple and his body ache. _She isn't even really dead – yet._ Before she would die completely, she would first be tortured and tormented by magic. Knowing her stubbornness better than anyone, she wouldn't be likely to give up in an instant and be free of hurting. No, she would stay 'alive' as long as possible, not giving in until she wouldn't be able to twitch her finger. How long and how much pain that would take, Mordred couldn't know. But he couldn't stop thinking of it either. The picture of her screaming in a dark place with the Keeper hovering over her wouldn't leave his mind. He had dreamt the same these past few days. The piercing scream would wake him, but would still linger in his ears. If this went on, he wasn't sure how long _he_ was going to make it…

_It's dark. There is no light. No nothing. Suddenly, a cry echoes in the darkness. A woman appears. She grabs her head in pain. Never has she felt such great pain. The magic goes in and twists her internal organs, feeling as though she is eaten from the inside. She's already weak as an effect from the lack of food and sleep. She screams again as another attempt on breaking her is sent. She won't give in. She didn't sacrifice herself for being eaten. No, she will hang on. For them. For __**him**__. Another attempt is made, this time physically. The knife bores into the flesh of her palm, making her scream in agony…_

Merlin woke up drenched in sweat. It was always the same pattern – though not always the same torments. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. He hadn't gotten any sleep the past month. When they had arrived in Camelot, they got confirmed the Souls were gone. They had held what was supposed to be a private funeral, but as word spread, people of all sorts – peasants as knights – had gathered to say their goodbyes to the female knight. In the short time she had been in Camelot, she had made quite the impression. She was, after all, the first woman knight _and_ the second Druid knight. She was also quite known for her great archery skills – greater than Leon, he had to admit. Nonetheless, she was a kind-hearted person even though she had kept many secrets.

Mordred still hadn't shown up. Arthur was worried and had told his knights to keep a look out for him, when they went on their daily rounds. He was also getting worried for his servant. To everyone else, he would seem fine, but Arthur knew him better. He saw the redness of his eyes, heard the lump in his throat and felt the tremor of his hands. He wanted to talk to him about it, but he knew, that every time someone mentioned his sister's name, he would jump slightly and hide his eyes in hope no one noticed. But Arthur did. He saw how he looked to the front gate, hoping to see her ride in, showing it was all just a nightmare. Like he was doing now.

Merlin settled Arthur's horse. He looked to the front gate for a moment, before cursing himself for doing so. He jerked his head back and focused on the horse he was currently saddling. Though, he noticed a familiar grey colour. Merlin snatched his head back to look at the gate and saw the special grey toned horse. _Silver_. He cursed himself once again when he caught himself being disappointed that _she_ wasn't on the horse's back. _Of course she isn't. Get yourself together!_ What surprised him was the brown horse next to silver, with a curly haired knight on. He looked beaten up with his swollen eyes and Merlin wondered if he too hadn't gotten any sleep. An outburst behind him told him, that Arthur had noticed the young knight as well.

"Mordred!" he exclaimed while he ran to help the exhausted knight off the horse. Mordred merely waved a hand at him and got down by himself. Arthur had too many questions for the young Druid lingering at his tongue, but he squeezed his mouth shut as he saw the empty look in his eyes. Merlin walked closer, seeing the two men exchange nothing but looks: Arthur's quizzical, Mordred's empty. As he was seen by the Druid, he shifted his gaze from the king to him. Merlin and Mordred's eyes met, showing unhappiness, regret and understanding. At that moment Merlin knew, that Mordred had the same nightmares as he did.

**…**

Mordred sat on his bed, taking in the atmosphere in the castle. He could barely comprehend, that everything seemed normal. There was nearly no evidence, beside Merlin's gloomy face, that she had ever been in Camelot. He felt a clasp in his heart as he thought of her. It had been a month, and he still couldn't think of her properly. He couldn't even think her _name_. That was one of the reasons he didn't return immediately. Though, it would still be hard to maintain a straight face if the knights started talking about her. A knock on the door got his attention. Merlin walked in after a while, assuming he could come in. He looked around the room trying not to get eye contact with the young warlock. When he walked closer and stopped in front of the Druid, he was forced to meet his eyes. The agony and depress he had expected to see was not in his friend's eyes. Mordred shifted suddenly as he saw the straight face, his friend wore. Anger rose in his chest.

_Why does he look the same? Did he forget about her? __**How could he forget about her!**_

He was about to shove him in the chest and yell at him for forgetting about her, when he noticed something. If he hadn't looked at him so thoroughly, he wouldn't have noticed it. A small dark spot, small enough to overlook, was shown in Merlin's eyes. Merlin forced him to keep eye contact, as though he wanted to show him what _really_ lay beneath his façade. Looking closer, he saw the dark spot had taken over his friends eyes. Staring at each other in, what seemed to be hours but was really only a few seconds, Mordred came to understanding. He suddenly saw the hidden pain and hurt in the fellow sorceress's eyes. He knew. He knew now, that the warlock hadn't been normal at all. He had suffered just as much as he had himself. He dropped his head to look at the floor with a small nod, showing he understood what the warlock had been trying to say. Merlin sat next to Mordred.

"I want you to tell me" he said trying to keep the lump in his throat down. Mordred looked confused to the man next to him.

"What?" he asked, not quite understanding what he meant. Merlin looked at him with the same sorrow, but with another emotion in his eyes – determination.

"I want to know, everything you knew about her. About… Aya" he forced himself to say her name. Relief flooded through him as he said it. It was as though just by saying her name, she was till near him. He couldn't help but wonder: _Has she given in yet?_

Mordred looked in deep thought. He had indeed felt the same as Merlin as her name was mentioned. It proved to him, that she could never disappear – not from his heart. He looked as though he was in deep thought. There were things that he didn't know, if he could pass on. Aya – he now allowed himself to think her name – had secrets. _Dark_ secrets. But this was her _brother_. The brother she had longed to see and meet for so many years. In the end he decided, she would have told him anyway. He gave a slight nod. Merlin nearly jumped from excitement, finally allowed to know about his sister. He sat himself comfortable on the bed and looked at Mordred with wide eyes, encouraging him to begin.

"Right… I assume you already know of the beginning… Since she told you you're siblings. After she was taken she lived with the Druids who took her for a while. But soon they realised what she could do, so they didn't want to watch her anymore. They were _scared_ of her. So, on her sixth birthday, they got her a pony – Silver. They gave her directions to another Druid camp, not too far away. Even as a child she was good at seeing through people – she knew how much they feared her. Yet she played along and smiled brightly at them before thanking them for taking care of her and then leaving the camp. As if it wasn't enough sorrow for a child to be separated from their real family, she also had to leave the first people to take care of her. Anyway, she walked with Silver by her side, too kind-hearted to wear out the creature, because she knew how long the journey was going to be. They travelled for _months_ trying to find the Druid camp. At that time, the camp - which was actually mine – had been attacked, so they had to move. She had to live by herself, hunting, hiding and teaching herself as she looked for the camp. Silver was by her side all the time. That's how they grew such a great relationship."

"One night, she hadn't been eating in several days, so she was outworn and tired. She fell asleep in the middle of nowhere, too tired to care. That's where I found her. I remember everything. The way her steady breath sounded, the slightly brighter colour her hair was – everything. At first, she was startled and alarmed that I had seen her. When I told her I was a Druid and where I was from, her eyes shone. She told me she'd been looking for us for months, so I took her back to the camp. They knew instantly who she was – Emrys's sister, also gifted with great magical powers. At first they were cautious, looking at her with judging eyes. Then, a couple walked to her and talked to her. They ended up taking care of her. They couldn't have their own kids, so she was like an angel sent from above. It turned out later, that that was exactly what she was. She helped hunting, knew of healing and could tell the prophecy better than anyone. She had learned it from the other Druids as well as learning where she was from, what and who she was."

"At that time, we were quite close. We played together as kids, grew up together and along the way I fell in love with her." Mordred went silent for a moment, remembering all the smiles and laughter they had had together. He felt tears prickle in his eyes, so he hurried to move on.

"When we turned fifteen, it was glorious times for her family. They finally succeeded in having a baby. She got a little sister. She was so bright and joyous when she was born. She loved her dearly. She practically raised her as they were always together. I admit, I got kind of jealous. But that was not why I did it – I didn't mean to!" Mordred grasped his hair, recalling the accident. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing what he was talking about.

"What do you mean?" he asked gently, seeing on his reaction that it was difficult for him – something he regretted deeply. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, gathering the courage to expose himself.

"It was an evening; I was practicing magic with some of the other boys my age. It got out of control, and before I knew it the stables where on fire. Seeing this I panicked and ran to get help. The others came running out – including Aya. She stared at the fire for a moment before sprinting towards it. Oblivious to why she was doing so, I called for her and stopped her – Of course I didn't want her to get hurt. She struggled within my grasp and finally used her magic to brush me off. The other Druids stared in shock as she ran into the building. Some of the older Druids were enchanting, trying to put out the fire. After what was the longest minutes I've ever experienced, Aya finally came out carrying a body. Silver came running out behind her. That's when I realized: both Silver and her sister, Krea, had been in the stables at that time. She fell to her knees with tears running down her dirtied cheeks. Some ran to examine the girl, who was only three at that time. I just stood there, watching as they _finally_ turned out the fire and _finally _getting a conclusion too Krea's state." Mordred didn't even register the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"She had assimilated too much smoke – she would never be able to breathe steadily. Silver had gotten some scars too, which is why he's still angry with me. From that moment, Aya never spoke to me again. She knew, I had been out there. She knew, I knew, that her beloved sister and horse had been in there. Whenever I tried to talk to her, she would walk, or run, several meters away from me. One time, I got close enough to say her name. All she did was shoot me the most blaming and disappointed look, I have ever seen. Her sister lay in bed for months before being able to breathe steadily enough to walk. Even now, she can't do normal things like riding a horse or play tag. It's all because of me. I ruined everything. And yet I never stopped thinking about her. I couldn't forget her. I loved her too much. I still do." At this point his tears flowed in rivers. He was angry with himself for being so stupid, and ruining the best thing he ever had. He would do _anything_ to go back in time and fix it! Merlin looked sympathetic at the Druid before him. Though, he felt angry too. Angry at his sister's behalf. She had suffered, but so had he. He put an arm at his friends shoulder, realizing that they _were _indeed friends.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Aya would not want you to dwell on the past. She was probably just angry with herself for not being able to rescue her sister, and then taking out her anger on you. She doesn't blame you" Merlin said and as he did, Mordred couldn't help but think that he was right. Aya was not a person to blame others – if anything, she would always say it was her fault. He gave a thankful smile to the brother of his loved one. _It's funny how fast he understands her, thinking of how little time they had together._ Mordred took a deep breath and forced himself to go on.

"After about five years, she decided to leave. Her sister was ten, and didn't need a guardian to be with her every day any more. She wanted to find you, Merlin. See who you were, what kind of person and how you did with your destiny. That leads to two years later, when she rescued us in the woods, and up until now. I could tell by the way her eyes shone whenever you walked in, that she was very proud to be your sister. She adored you as much as she adored her sister. I believe she was very happy" he finally said, ending his story. Merlin's eyes turned sad again, but he was not depressed anymore. He was also proud of her: proud to call her his sister.

"I still wish I could've taken her back to Ealdor, so she could meet our mother. Why hasn't she mentioned anything about Aya?" Merlin had a hint of betrayal in his voice. Mordred looked with wide eyes as if the answer was obvious. _I guess she didn't tell him that part…_

"I thought you knew…" Mordred said quietly.

"Knew what?"

"Your mother doesn't know Aya exists." Merlin was taken aback by his words. _How could she __**not**__ know! She's her child! _Mordred, seeing the confused look on Merlin's face, sighed.

"When the Druids met your mother, they knew how much of a burden it would be for her to have _two _great sorceresses grow up in her home. They took Aya and deleted every trace of her ever existing. Your mother doesn't know. She thinks you're her only child" Mordred explained. Merlin's face turned pale. _So all this time… Aya has lived, knowing her own mother doesn't know she even __**exists**__?!_ While Merlin tried to wrap his brain around the new fact he'd gotten the past hours, Mordred was struggling with some information he _hadn't _given.

_She probably doesn't want him to know… But… He deserves to, at the very least, know what she was!_

"Merlin" Mordred said, pulling him back to reality. He looked at Mordred, not knowing what he would say next.

"There's something else, I need to tell you…"


	15. Chapter 15 - A Shadow

**A/N  
**Yay, new chapter!  
Again, this is more of a background thingy, but I really enjoyed writing this!

Oh, and by the way, I don't speak Old English, so it's just roughly translated from a random online dictionary... Hope you don't mind that!

Anyway, hope you enjoy! :-)

**Dislaimer:** Nope, I don't own Merlin. :c

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**Chapter 15 - A Shadow**

_Three woman wearing big dark cloaks stood around a vessel filled with water. In the vessel a picture of a woman giving birth was seen. She was drenched in sweat as the baby was on its way out. The three woman watched as the child with the great destiny was born. They smiled faintly as he came out. With a confident feeling they turned their back to the vessel, thinking the birth was finished. Then, the woman started screaming again. A chill ran down their spines. They turned to the vessel once again. After a while a new baby cry was heard. The three women stared down at the new creature, which was born._

_"Hit beon seldcyme" one said, glaring at the new born child.  
"__**It is rare**__"_

_"Hit beon seldcyme mid dæd" another said, scrunching her nose.  
"__**It is rare indeed**__"_

_"__**Hit**__ habban beon geboren" the third said, having a look of disgust on her face.  
"__**It**__** has been born**__"_

_"__**Hit**__ sculan beon áberan"  
"__**It**__** must be removed**__"_

_"__**Hit**__ beon in gidwola"  
"__**It**__** is a mistake**__"_

_"__**Hit**__ beon in Heolstorscuwa" they said in choir.  
"__**It**__** is a Shadow**__"_

_Once upon a time a great king was born. He was destined to make peace with his father's sworn enemy. The country was split in two parts which the kings ruled. They had laws against trading with each other, death being the price. That's how their relationship was. This was not a long-lasting solution and if this went on, the kingdoms wouldn't make it for the next generation. That's why he was born. Though, at his birth another was born. The once planning his birth had overlooked, that the queen was with twins. They couldn't understand why the other was born. Alas the twin lived a life with no purpose. He wasn't meant to be created. He was a mistake. He would forever live in the shadow of his brother, the great king, hereof came the term Shadow. He could not marry, could not have children and could not accomplish anything great. Yes, he had the same qualities as his brother, but he could never become king. It was not his destiny. He had no destiny._

Merlin sat unable to move or speak. He had never heard of the term before – he certainly hadn't heard Gaius speak of it. _A Shadow. A person with no destiny – no purpose whatsoever. How could she live, knowing that? And I thought my destiny was a burden…_

Mordred sat quietly letting him soak the words in. He knew how much information he had gotten in so little time. Mordred remembered the first time he'd heard about her.

_"Aya, wait!" Mordred, age 16, ran after the long brown braid._

_"Don't follow me!" Aya yelled back. She put two fingers together, led them to her mouth and made a whistle silent to the normal human ear. A neigh was heard, and Mordred knew he had to hurry if he wanted to catch her. He whistled and heard another neigh. His horse was closer to them, so it reached him first. He hurried to get on his horse. Yes! He forced it forward when Silver came running out of the woods. It reached for Aya and she got on top of it. No! Just a little further… He drove his horse as fast as it could run, but it was nothing next to Silver. Silver easily sprinted away, being the fastest horse he'd ever seen. Though, he wouldn't give in. He knew that if he kept pushing his horse it would be able to almost keep up with her. His horse was sweating as he saw her getting further away from him. He was desperate. What had she gotten so mad about? He thought. He had seen her practice some magic, and he had been surprised. The adults knew about her at that time, but the children had only thought that she had been an outcast. They didn't know she had magic. He had gently asked her where she'd learned magic, and then she had run._

_Mordred kept riding, even though she was now completely out of sight. He knew where she was headed anyway. He came to a small lake surrounded by yellow flowers. He tied his horse to a nearby tree and headed towards the body by the lake. She had pulled her legs towards her chest, wrapped her arms around them and leaning her head on her knees. He sat close to her, showing his presence. She gazed upon the lake, and he on her. It was weird. Every time he looked at her, his stomach would tickle endlessly, his head seem light and his heart beat rapidly. He had once confronted the physician with this; scared that it was some kind of disease, but the old man had merely chuckled at him, saying it was completely normal. Finally, she turned her head to look at him. He couldn't help but notice the sorrow in her eyes. It was painful seeing the otherwise usual cheerful and bright girl like that. He brushed a hair that covered her face behind her ear showing her that whatever that was so hard to tell, he would listen. She sighed. He had been her first friend – ever. In the old camp, they had all been scared of her, so there was no one to play with. Well, she had always had Silver, but it was different, talking to someone like her. Well, not exactly like her. _

_No matter how much she wanted him to stay oblivious, she knew, she had to tell him – or else he'd find out from the elder Druids, since he was soon trustworthy enough to be told. So, she told him. She told him how she'd always been feared. She told him about Emrys; her brother. She told him about how she had the same powers, and yet how she could not use them for any purpose. At last, with tears in her eyes, she told him, how she was a __mistake__. Mordred was patient and waited for her to finish. He saw the tears in her eyes, and felt the anger rise inside him, as she said, she was a __mistake__. He took her head in his hands, forcing her to look at him. Then he told her. He told her, what he first realized, when she said that word. He told her how much he cared for her, and how he thought of her. She smiled weakly, but then untangled herself from his grip._

_"You can't think of me like that" she said gently._

_"I have no destiny, no purpose. I cannot be together with anyone like that." He sat frozen and watched her walk towards Silver. He first truly understood her words as he watched her leave…_

Mordred felt another tear fall. She had been in so much pain – he knew how difficult it was for her. Though, he could _never_ imagine the _real _pain that she felt. Everyone had something to do. Everyone had their own qualities and their own dreams. Except her. She had no privilege to do so. She was but a side-effect – A Shadow. Mordred felt the same anger he had felt all those years ago. He felt angry on her behalf.

_Who is to say she has no right? Why can't she? She was born, as everyone else! She grew up as everyone else! Except, she had to live with the pain, knowing she'd never become something. But against everything, she did! She became a knight of Camelot! A __female__ knight! Isn't that an accomplishment? Why can't she have that as a destiny?_

The sound of a door closing dragged him out of his thoughts. Merlin had left. He sighed. It was probably better for him to go to bed. It would be a long day tomorrow…


	16. Chapter 16 - Facing Truth

**A/N**

Sorry that this is a short chapter! Had a bunch of essays to write... Gah!Anyway, even though this is short, I hope you enjoy it anyway! :-)

**Disclaimer: **I dooooooo... not own Merlin...

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**Chapter 16 - Facing truth**

Darkness. Nothing but an empty space filled with piercing silence. Then, a light. As Merlin fluttered his eyelids opened, he found himself well-rested for once in _months_. Sunshine shone through his window, little bits of light lightened up the room. Birds were chirping, life went on just outside his window. For once, Merlin felt that life was beautiful once again. Since the disappearing, Merlin called it since he refused to believe her to be dead; he had looked at the world with narrow eyes. He had only noticed the darkness and the sorrow of the world, refusing to believe that life went on without her. But now, he once again saw the beauty of the world, he was living in. For the first time a smile widened on the warlocks face. He walked out of his room, greeting Gaius with the innocent, joyous yet foolish smile the physician knew so well. When he noticed the change of his ward, which wasn't difficult comparing to the depressing gloomy face he'd worn before, he too smiled widely. They sat for breakfast and Merlin hurried to wake Arthur, just like he had done before he even met Aya.

Arthur woke by a noise. An oddly familiar noise.

"Rise and shine!" Merlin yelled too loudly and pulled the curtains away. Arthur grunted, wanting to sleep longer. He failed to notice the sudden change of his best friend. It was as though he had woken up months before, were everything was normal. Everyone seemed to think the day was just a regular one. It was as though Aya had not existed. No mysterious archer had saved them. No woman had been knighted. Merlin had had no sister.

The day passed as it normally would. The knights trained, Arthur had counselling and Merlin had chores. Everything seemed normal. That was, until evening.

Merlin had finished his chores and was about to go to bed, when a knock on the door stopped him. Gaius raised an eyebrow at the unusual time to visit but went to answer the door anyway. When Merlin saw Mordred, reality fell down on him once again. The pained look in the Druid's eyes was more than enough to remember the happenings. But still, he couldn't bring himself to fall into the deep depression he'd been in. After all, he hadn't had those_ dreams_. That had to be a sign, right?

"I need to speak to you" Mordred said, having even more pain in his eyes than yesterday. Merlin furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded and brought Mordred to his room, understanding the silent voice asking him to speak alone. As soon as Merlin had closed the door behind him, Mordred cut to the case.

"You didn't have nightmares last night, am I correct?" he asked. Merlin took a sharp breath, wondering how the Druid knew. He nodded, still not getting where the conversation was going. As he did, Mordred looked down.

"I suppose, it's true then" he said so quietly, Merlin almost didn't hear. With no warning Mordred collapsed on Merlin's bed. Merlin rushed to his friend's side, helping him to sit. He studied the knight, wondering if he was sick. He saw no sign of physical signs, but he didn't fail to notice the pain that still lingered in his eyes.

"Mordred, what's wrong?" the young warlock hurried to ask, scared that his friend would soon faint. Mordred looked to Merlin, his look filled with suffering, hurt and… worry? It was clear that whatever was wrong with the knight, he didn't want to say out loud. So he said it in another way.

_She's dead_. It took a while for Merlin to grasp what he had been told. When he did, it felt as though the world crashed down on him. The burden he had lived with since his first days in Camelot, suddenly felt a lot heavier. He didn't believe it. He didn't _want _to believe it!

"You're wrong" he simply said.

"As much as I wish that was wrong…" Mordred said quietly. Tears prickled his eyes, threatening to fall.

"The dreams… They were what happened to her while being in the Keeper's world" he said. The dreams suddenly rushed into his mind. Aya screaming, crying, gasping for breath… All different kinds of horrible torments. He realized, what Mordred had said was true. The dreams had felt too realistic.

"But… Now that the dreams are gone… what about..?" Merlin saw the truth in Mordred's words, how they all made sense. _The dreams were there every day. I watched her be tormented. Now, that they're gone, that must mean… _He hadn't even noticed the tears that flowed down his cheeks. He didn't notice he was crying until he uttered a sob, which was followed by many others. Mordred broke by the sight of Merlin. None of them wanted to accept the fact, they knew was true. They didn't want to give up, the small hope they both had, that she would keep living. None of them wanted to face it. But at the end they had to.

_Aya was dead._


End file.
